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Parent Emeritus
Does Detachment = No Contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 623496" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>Childofmine, thank you for your most helpful response. I am sorry you are also going through this. It is SO hard. Like you, I do not understand these choices, which are so clearly not in difficult child's best interest. I do hope that detachment and stopping the financial support will make JT's problems more his own problems. We will not bail him out of jail again or loan him money for any reason. We won't help him with transportation or his past due bills. And, we won't allow him to treat us poorly any more. It just needs to stop. JT has only been on his own for a couple of months now, but we know his financial problems and life management issues will hit him hard over this next year.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad your family members have each made their own decisions as to contact with your difficult child. I am not sure of how much contact I really want. I wonder whether things will ever be okay in the future. Right now, I don't think it is likely that we'll ever have a normal relationship with JT. I believe he will struggle the rest of his life, and I am grieving that, I guess. It is really hard watching him self destruct. </p><p></p><p>I do want peace, though, now more than anything. After all of these years of turmoil, we're tired. And we deserve to enjoy our life somehow. I need to accept that there may not be a happy ending.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 623496, member: 4855"] Childofmine, thank you for your most helpful response. I am sorry you are also going through this. It is SO hard. Like you, I do not understand these choices, which are so clearly not in difficult child's best interest. I do hope that detachment and stopping the financial support will make JT's problems more his own problems. We will not bail him out of jail again or loan him money for any reason. We won't help him with transportation or his past due bills. And, we won't allow him to treat us poorly any more. It just needs to stop. JT has only been on his own for a couple of months now, but we know his financial problems and life management issues will hit him hard over this next year. I'm glad your family members have each made their own decisions as to contact with your difficult child. I am not sure of how much contact I really want. I wonder whether things will ever be okay in the future. Right now, I don't think it is likely that we'll ever have a normal relationship with JT. I believe he will struggle the rest of his life, and I am grieving that, I guess. It is really hard watching him self destruct. I do want peace, though, now more than anything. After all of these years of turmoil, we're tired. And we deserve to enjoy our life somehow. I need to accept that there may not be a happy ending. [/QUOTE]
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Does Detachment = No Contact?
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