Each state and area is different. Where I live, there are no special schools, but certain schools have targeted classrooms. You have to take your state into consideration as th ey all have different rules too. And getting a student advocate from the Dept. of Public Education is very helpful with IEPs, if the advocate is good.
I'm glad my son went to public school. He spent some time with regular kids and some time with disabled kids and at his lunch table a hodgepodge of kids sat together. Since it was a small school, nobody picked on my son. Ever. In fact, the kids would pick on one another, but not the kids who were wired differently.
Being realistic, you need to think "where do I live? What is available here?" Visit the various schools. Your public school district will have to pay the costs for you if they can not offer your child the best free public education for his disabilities, but an out-of-district school can. Ours had to send him t here and bus him there on their dime. We also had to fight hard to get him there. You can't just go in there alone, with attitude, and take on an entire public school and think they will do what you want because you feel you are right. You will probably need to involve people outside of the district and it won't be easy. Nor should you give up because it won't be easy. Take it to the bank: Without a good, strong advocate, which you can find by calling your state's Dept. of Public Education, or, if you have the money, legal help, you will get nowhere. The school will do what it wants to do unless it has some person sitting with you who knows the laws and can take them to court, which they don't want.Going alone is like walking into a courtroom without a lawyer.You will not get a good deal.
Aspergers is no longer in the DSM. If your son has not done so, I recommend having him tested completely by a private neuropsychologist. My son's diagnosis ended up being Autistic Spectrum Disorder and THAT got him his services that still help him today, at age twenty one. Aspergers is part of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The neuropsychologist was very firm and wrote that to flourish my son will need special supports that probably will extend to adulthood (this helped him as an adult). I know he was lalying it on thick, but it gave the school district very little room to argue. And my son has an average IQ, but he learns differently enough that "cognitive disorder not otherwise specified" was listed as a second diagnosis. This does NOT mean low IQ. It means they don't learn the way other kids learn. And if you are on the spectrum, you ARE different. He also stressed social skills, which we received.
In short, where you live, what your resources are in your state and area, and how far you are willing to go to fight for your child's services play roles in what kind of services he will get. You can't put him somewhere that doesn't exist in your community. Take a stroll around and see what schools are there and if there are no special schools, see which public schools offer the best supports. My experience is that it is not easy to get an aide...that costs the school money. They have kind of realize there is no other choice. My son's aide helped him probably more than anybody else. He shared he aide with two other kids, and needed the aide the least of them, but she was a BIG factor in his turnabout in school and in his social life. Today he is a very well adjusted, mostly independent and polit and happy young man. Literally, this once raging child, has tons of people coming up to me to tell me what a polite, nice, kind and hardworking young man I have and what a GREAT job I did as a mother...haha. (I always tell them, no, it wasn't me...he did it himself with a little help from some school angels). The result and change was and is amazing. If you met him, he would dazzle you too as he does everyone. And this was my raging monster!!! He is on no medication. He learned from interventions. Some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do need medications, but we are glad he doesn't need any. Please make sure you get the max for your precious child. It will make all the difference in his life. I never dreamed my son would learn how to control his temper. Today he is calm and rarely even gets angry...autistic kids can change for the better A LOT, but they need guidance to learn how to do it. Pushing htem to not be autistic does not work, but my son gets more "normal" every year...on his own.
