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~~Does letting go every get easier???~~
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 84737" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: confused_n_tx</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p></p><p>I see mom's who don't try at all, have all kinds of bad habbits and make horrible choices, and their kids come out great, and then other moms, who have really given this parenting thing 100% and tried to do it "right" only to end up with kids on drugs, in jail, never can handle a job and so on. </p><p>I know the rest of life is not fair, but...I thought parenting was more like what you put in comes out, just not so. It just makes me wonder why there are so many parenting books out there when in the long run you are going to get a better outcome if you are selfish, make bad decisions and/or are an abusive parent.</p><p></p><p>My heart is just so heavy.</p><p></p><p>I just want my kid home soooooo bad!!</p><p>When she is taking her medications she is such an incredible person! If there wasn't such a major difference. I know my "real" daughter and this is who I miss. I also miss just knowing she is home and safe.</p><p></p><p>I know my mother and daughter are both manipulating each other right now, but it doesn't make any of it easier. Especially since I am loosing time I can NEVER get back - graduation, prom, etc. My mom certainly hasn't done anything to deserve to get to spend these precious moments with her, it just makes me literally ill. You always think you are going to have at least 18 years before having to give them up to the world, I was mentally prepared for that, but not for this.</p><p></p><p>How come as parents we are always the first to blame a parent when the kid does something "bad" or "wrong" but we never really give the parents any credit when the kid does something right? The kid themselves get the credit. I just think we blame way too quickly, and I am definately one who has blamed other parents without having the full story. </div></div></p><p></p><p></p><p>Very perceptive comments.</p><p></p><p>What we learn here is how to live with what we know to have happened to us, and to our kids.</p><p></p><p>You are right.</p><p></p><p>There is no support system for us. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. (Like our mothers-in-law are not already filling that role admirably! :smile: Just kidding ~ I love my mother-in-law.) We condemn ourselves for the things our children are doing, forgetting that we DID teach them better. </p><p></p><p>So many times, the kids are going to make choices that will take them down even more self-destructive paths ~ and all we will be able to do is stand helplessly by, calling out the things we have tried to teach them, shrieking over the wind that they were raised better than this.</p><p></p><p>And no one hears us and sometimes, we cannot even hear ourselves, anymore.</p><p></p><p>What is happening to us and to our kids is a living nightmare.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, simply acknowledging that to ourselves helps so much.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 84737, member: 3353"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: confused_n_tx</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I see mom's who don't try at all, have all kinds of bad habbits and make horrible choices, and their kids come out great, and then other moms, who have really given this parenting thing 100% and tried to do it "right" only to end up with kids on drugs, in jail, never can handle a job and so on. I know the rest of life is not fair, but...I thought parenting was more like what you put in comes out, just not so. It just makes me wonder why there are so many parenting books out there when in the long run you are going to get a better outcome if you are selfish, make bad decisions and/or are an abusive parent. My heart is just so heavy. I just want my kid home soooooo bad!! When she is taking her medications she is such an incredible person! If there wasn't such a major difference. I know my "real" daughter and this is who I miss. I also miss just knowing she is home and safe. I know my mother and daughter are both manipulating each other right now, but it doesn't make any of it easier. Especially since I am loosing time I can NEVER get back - graduation, prom, etc. My mom certainly hasn't done anything to deserve to get to spend these precious moments with her, it just makes me literally ill. You always think you are going to have at least 18 years before having to give them up to the world, I was mentally prepared for that, but not for this. How come as parents we are always the first to blame a parent when the kid does something "bad" or "wrong" but we never really give the parents any credit when the kid does something right? The kid themselves get the credit. I just think we blame way too quickly, and I am definately one who has blamed other parents without having the full story. </div></div> Very perceptive comments. What we learn here is how to live with what we know to have happened to us, and to our kids. You are right. There is no support system for us. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. (Like our mothers-in-law are not already filling that role admirably! [img]:smile:[/img] Just kidding ~ I love my mother-in-law.) We condemn ourselves for the things our children are doing, forgetting that we DID teach them better. So many times, the kids are going to make choices that will take them down even more self-destructive paths ~ and all we will be able to do is stand helplessly by, calling out the things we have tried to teach them, shrieking over the wind that they were raised better than this. And no one hears us and sometimes, we cannot even hear ourselves, anymore. What is happening to us and to our kids is a living nightmare. Sometimes, simply acknowledging that to ourselves helps so much. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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