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<blockquote data-quote="Ephchap" data-source="post: 138419" data-attributes="member: 27"><p>Katya,</p><p></p><p>First of all, welcome back. Sorry things aren't going well. As said above, you didn't do this. The responsibility rests squarely on your son's shoulders.</p><p></p><p>When someone wont' admit they have a problem, it makes it very difficult to convince them they need help. Often, when they are drinking and/or drugging, they feel they are on top of the world and it's hard to convince them otherwise. Eventually, if they continue drinking and/or drugging, however, it begins to affect them and their way of living.</p><p></p><p>Your son getting the UA's while at college is a prime example. Those choices might costs him dearly, even if he stays in school. Some university programs won't give admittance into their major programs (usually at the end of their sophomore year when they have to apply to the engineering, business, nursing, etc. major) to those that have received UA's. They feel that the partying will get in the way, and why give that spot to a student that doesn't want it as badly as someone who is really working hard. Sad but true. </p><p></p><p>That's if he does stay in school. If he flunks out, obviously that changes his life even more. At that point, if you are going to allow him to come back home to live, then you have every right to give him a written (to be signed by him and you and your husband) list of rules that must be adhered to, and the consequences and time limits if they are not followed. Then you and your husband must stick to them.</p><p></p><p>The substance abuse path our children choose is a scary one, and one that affects everyone. They don't see it that way unfortunately.</p><p></p><p>Sending you mega hugs. I know how hard it is to watch your child self-destruct.</p><p></p><p>Deb</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ephchap, post: 138419, member: 27"] Katya, First of all, welcome back. Sorry things aren't going well. As said above, you didn't do this. The responsibility rests squarely on your son's shoulders. When someone wont' admit they have a problem, it makes it very difficult to convince them they need help. Often, when they are drinking and/or drugging, they feel they are on top of the world and it's hard to convince them otherwise. Eventually, if they continue drinking and/or drugging, however, it begins to affect them and their way of living. Your son getting the UA's while at college is a prime example. Those choices might costs him dearly, even if he stays in school. Some university programs won't give admittance into their major programs (usually at the end of their sophomore year when they have to apply to the engineering, business, nursing, etc. major) to those that have received UA's. They feel that the partying will get in the way, and why give that spot to a student that doesn't want it as badly as someone who is really working hard. Sad but true. That's if he does stay in school. If he flunks out, obviously that changes his life even more. At that point, if you are going to allow him to come back home to live, then you have every right to give him a written (to be signed by him and you and your husband) list of rules that must be adhered to, and the consequences and time limits if they are not followed. Then you and your husband must stick to them. The substance abuse path our children choose is a scary one, and one that affects everyone. They don't see it that way unfortunately. Sending you mega hugs. I know how hard it is to watch your child self-destruct. Deb [/QUOTE]
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