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DS at my sister's house-
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 750390" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Google Obama phone. In my area, the distributor is Target.I'm right here with you.</p><p></p><p>It's so much easier to see your situation and the solutions, than in my own. </p><p></p><p>You have no control over the situation with your sister. But it will end. She will not keep him forever. Accepting this as a reality may help. This is a respite only. And not much of one if every phone call from her is so destabilizing. (I am like this too.)</p><p></p><p>You are the one who is deciding to dwell on this. Oh. I know it does not feel like it's a choice. It feels like there is a voracious monster living in your soul. But we do have a lot of control that we do not exercise to not be eaten up alive.</p><p></p><p>I have been meditating every day, sometimes a couple of hours. I am trying to pray the first thing in the morning. I am doing internet course after internet course. I am doing art. I started watching a movie every day. I should be walking every day. (I am not.) I am doing Pilates 2x a week. I force myself.</p><p></p><p>The point I want to make is this: When we are moving or praying or drawing or actively studying engrossed in the material, with homework to turn in, and deadlines to make, we are engaged in a world of our own making. The past 48 hours have been a nightmare for me with my son. But in the midst of it, I did 6 hours of drawing homework, and I was in another world.</p><p></p><p>I woke up again this morning in agony, but in a second I had decided what to do with my son. And I did it. I am trying NOT to marinate myself in agony. I am trying to climb out of the vat. As I can. And when I do fall into the vat, I am trying to act immediately to find a way to climb out.</p><p></p><p>Beta. You are in the vat. You don't have to be. If you make it your mission to leave the vat, you will. There will be moments when you fall back. But if you have a safety net of all kinds of activities, you can save yourself each time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 750390, member: 18958"] Google Obama phone. In my area, the distributor is Target.I'm right here with you. It's so much easier to see your situation and the solutions, than in my own. You have no control over the situation with your sister. But it will end. She will not keep him forever. Accepting this as a reality may help. This is a respite only. And not much of one if every phone call from her is so destabilizing. (I am like this too.) You are the one who is deciding to dwell on this. Oh. I know it does not feel like it's a choice. It feels like there is a voracious monster living in your soul. But we do have a lot of control that we do not exercise to not be eaten up alive. I have been meditating every day, sometimes a couple of hours. I am trying to pray the first thing in the morning. I am doing internet course after internet course. I am doing art. I started watching a movie every day. I should be walking every day. (I am not.) I am doing Pilates 2x a week. I force myself. The point I want to make is this: When we are moving or praying or drawing or actively studying engrossed in the material, with homework to turn in, and deadlines to make, we are engaged in a world of our own making. The past 48 hours have been a nightmare for me with my son. But in the midst of it, I did 6 hours of drawing homework, and I was in another world. I woke up again this morning in agony, but in a second I had decided what to do with my son. And I did it. I am trying NOT to marinate myself in agony. I am trying to climb out of the vat. As I can. And when I do fall into the vat, I am trying to act immediately to find a way to climb out. Beta. You are in the vat. You don't have to be. If you make it your mission to leave the vat, you will. There will be moments when you fall back. But if you have a safety net of all kinds of activities, you can save yourself each time. [/QUOTE]
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