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DS totally and suddenly silent
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755720" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p><em> to actually reject fear and anxiety.</em></p><p></p><p>I don't know why my quote thing doesn't work anymore. But I want to say this: Beta. I think I know how it feels when you break down and call or text Josh. I think I know how that fear and desperation feels. I have felt that feeling any number of times, and when I feel it, I can't stop myself. When I feel it, it is overpowering. I can't resist it.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why we feel this way. But I don't think this state of mind can be resisted easily, once it starts. I think that it's the result of a domino effect, and it comes on us when all of the other dominos have already fallen.</p><p></p><p>There was a point when you were posting more. I think it might make sense to start posting again more intensively, about what's going on in you. So that you (and we) begin to understand what are the other dominos, that get you to a place where you can't help yourself.</p><p></p><p>You say you're codependent. I think this is an insult that you don't deserve. I think it sounds more like trauma. I know in my own life I have a history of trauma. And when I get to the point where the dominos are all falling, and I feel as if I can't help but do something (and it's the wrong thing) it's usually related to something that has triggered me about my history. In my case, my father.</p><p></p><p>I think what is going on with our children is very triggering to early events in our own lives that lie deep within us that we try to ward off. I think we need to be very kind to ourselves. I think you need to treat yourself with care, respect and gentleness. You deserve it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755720, member: 18958"] [I] to actually reject fear and anxiety.[/I] I don't know why my quote thing doesn't work anymore. But I want to say this: Beta. I think I know how it feels when you break down and call or text Josh. I think I know how that fear and desperation feels. I have felt that feeling any number of times, and when I feel it, I can't stop myself. When I feel it, it is overpowering. I can't resist it. I don't know why we feel this way. But I don't think this state of mind can be resisted easily, once it starts. I think that it's the result of a domino effect, and it comes on us when all of the other dominos have already fallen. There was a point when you were posting more. I think it might make sense to start posting again more intensively, about what's going on in you. So that you (and we) begin to understand what are the other dominos, that get you to a place where you can't help yourself. You say you're codependent. I think this is an insult that you don't deserve. I think it sounds more like trauma. I know in my own life I have a history of trauma. And when I get to the point where the dominos are all falling, and I feel as if I can't help but do something (and it's the wrong thing) it's usually related to something that has triggered me about my history. In my case, my father. I think what is going on with our children is very triggering to early events in our own lives that lie deep within us that we try to ward off. I think we need to be very kind to ourselves. I think you need to treat yourself with care, respect and gentleness. You deserve it. [/QUOTE]
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DS totally and suddenly silent
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