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easy child makiing me cry
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 37729" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DazedandConfused</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p></p><p>It's typical teen behavior that hasn't been dealt with. If not confronted, it will only get worse. </p><p></p><p>I usually give the bemused look with a sarcastic "You must have been talkin to someone else, because I KNOW you wouldn't be talking to ME like that". </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I walked up to her (I'm taller) and said very firmly, "Honey, the next time you decide to speak to us in such a way, it better be when your eighteen and carrying your packed suitcases out the door". Message received. </div></div></p><p></p><p>***************</p><p></p><p>I agree that this is the way to handle the situation.</p><p></p><p>You don't want to get into making the computer the issue, here. The issue is disrespect. It's like everyone here on the site tells me all the time: we teach our children how to treat us. If we do not feel we merit respect (and they will test us on that), then we will not demand it and the whole thing spirals downhill from that point, I think.</p><p></p><p>So, this is important. I am glad you posted about it.</p><p></p><p>No sense in waiting until the lack of respect has turned into "I can do what I want."</p><p></p><p>Your son needs you to set the rules now for the kind of relationship you will have when he is older and no longer relies so heavily on you to define the parameters for him.</p><p></p><p>That's why it's important.</p><p></p><p>Probably because of everything else going on in our family when difficult child was thirteen to fifteen, we let so many things that normally would have been addressed in the instant "slip".</p><p></p><p>We never did get that time back.</p><p></p><p>So in a way, this is a normal phase in your relationship to your son.</p><p></p><p>Your responsibility is to set the parameters.</p><p></p><p>Do that, based on the issue of respect.</p><p></p><p>A discussion is in order, but no punishment. That will only shift the issue to a control/resentment/who's the boss of me scenario, I think.</p><p></p><p>Wishing well!</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p><p></p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 37729, member: 3353"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DazedandConfused</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> It's typical teen behavior that hasn't been dealt with. If not confronted, it will only get worse. I usually give the bemused look with a sarcastic "You must have been talkin to someone else, because I KNOW you wouldn't be talking to ME like that". Anyway, I walked up to her (I'm taller) and said very firmly, "Honey, the next time you decide to speak to us in such a way, it better be when your eighteen and carrying your packed suitcases out the door". Message received. </div></div> *************** I agree that this is the way to handle the situation. You don't want to get into making the computer the issue, here. The issue is disrespect. It's like everyone here on the site tells me all the time: we teach our children how to treat us. If we do not feel we merit respect (and they will test us on that), then we will not demand it and the whole thing spirals downhill from that point, I think. So, this is important. I am glad you posted about it. No sense in waiting until the lack of respect has turned into "I can do what I want." Your son needs you to set the rules now for the kind of relationship you will have when he is older and no longer relies so heavily on you to define the parameters for him. That's why it's important. Probably because of everything else going on in our family when difficult child was thirteen to fifteen, we let so many things that normally would have been addressed in the instant "slip". We never did get that time back. So in a way, this is a normal phase in your relationship to your son. Your responsibility is to set the parameters. Do that, based on the issue of respect. A discussion is in order, but no punishment. That will only shift the issue to a control/resentment/who's the boss of me scenario, I think. Wishing well! Barbara . [/QUOTE]
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