easy child told me i'd never want your life?

[Jena]

My oldest child yesterday announced to me how she'd never ever want my life! She has been a handful lately I will not lie. I've wanted to ship her off a few times, yet i try to breath through it. she's going through a "I'm 16 in a week and I should be able to do...." thing.

So, i took her to starbucks, figured i'd try to bond with the little snot for a bit than she comes out with-that line.

I said why? She said all you do is work, pay bills, and take care of us or rather difficult child more because i'm so old now lol. I said although i have my moments where you both aggrivate me greatly i love having both of you dont' you know that? she said yea, but your life ***** you do nothing but what i said you do. I'd never want your life. ever. i dont' want kids or marriage or any of it.

i don't know why but that kinda stuck in my head and got my wheels turning, why should I let it get my wheels turning? I felt bad that she feels that she'd never want my life. is this a typical teenage thing? yuck!! lol

I get that she sees a drastic change in my life in the past few years. I was a whole lot more active before when I was single well with-o wonderful boyfriend lol. I vacationed with-friends a few times when kids were with my ex, i did more stuff i really did. now all my friends are busy with-their kids, or out living the single life scene.

any thoughts about my nasty little girl??

 

[Shari]

Honestly, and don't take this wrong, but, really, is she that far off?

Living with difficult child's, while we love them and wouldn't trade them, its not what any of us signed up for. She's seeing it. difficult child's genes are in her gene pool, too. She's seeing the reality of a tough situation, and while it hurts to hear, is it really all that far from the truth?

At least she's not living in some fanatasy world thinking that some prince charming is gonna ride up on a white horse and take her away where she'll live happily ever after with nanny's and food magically appearing in the pantry.

 

[Hound dog]

My thought is:

It shows that she recognizes what you do for her and the family, the hard work you put in, and appreciates it. Even if she's going thru 16itis right now.

My easy child said the same to me.......I think she was about the same age. Made me take a 2nd look at my life. And I looked for more ways I could add fun ME time in there so I wasn't working myself to death.

hug

 

[muttmeister]

First, I think it IS a teenage thing. Whether she is exhibiting difficult child behavior or not, that is a pretty typical comment.

Second, it does show that she has some concept of what you are dealing with. At least she doesn't think you have it great and she doesn't.

Third, when my difficult children said that to me, I think it told them, "Yeah, weill, iit's mine and you can't have it anyway and besides, I don't think I'd want yours either."

 

[DaisyFace]

Hi Jena--

I agree with Shari. Some days, I don't even want my OWN life. I have fantasies about running off to Hollywood where I will meet some wealthy and good-looking movie star who will want to whisk me away to one of his many mansions and have his many servants wait on me hand and foot for the rest of my life.

But, that is not the life I chose...


{{....sigh...}}


Perhaps the comment it is just a way of your daughter making a few life decisions....? So maybe, this would be a good opportunity to ask her--OK, if you don't picture being a wife or a mother, how do you picture your life? What do you want? What are your goals? How will you achieve your dream?

If the comment bothers you, then perhaps it means you need to make a few changes in your life....?

What do you think....?

--DaisyF

 

[hearts and roses]

Yeah, I agree it's part typical teen stuff. But also, she sees things from a different perspective than you do.

Ironically, it's my difficult child who has said almost the exact same thing to me! Hahaha - Oh, the irony is just staggering.

easy child, on the other hand, can't wait to be a momma and she has told me on several occasions that she wants to be a good mommy just like me. Hahah, little does she know about all the times I thought about tossing in the towel.

Jen, I'm glad you have a sense of humor. Just like money, age changes everything. When she's grown and matured, and a little less self centered, her perspective will likely change. Hugs~

 

[Jena]

hi

Shari - that was way way too funny!! you are right and yes she def has a dose of reality from living our difficult child life. Yet difficult child has been stable, there are very hard moments yet for the first time in ages i feel very secure in my abilities in handling her and it def shows around the house.

lisa - thanks, yup you are right.

Mutt - i like the response you gave yours lol. you can't have it anyway! love that!

Daisy - Ooh so deep you are lol, seriously though, well she may be onto something yet there really isn't anything i can do at the present moment about revving up the social scene between my regular work schedule which when i go back is way overwhelming i derive some pleasure from that as well as the interplay with ppl i work with it fills me up to some extent. Bfs schedule is hard and i think i miss out on alot of what couples do together i have to admit. we do dinner out twice a mos. yet we have no friends in common or have them over we can't becaue weekends he's never here, no vacations or weekend getaways.

Jo - yes that is funny difficult child's reaction in comparison to easy child's reaction. that's sweet. my difficult child states alot of the time how she wants to adopt a baby because giving birth hurts and also there are alot of babies out there that need mom's. easy child's plan is an apartment with-her friend preferrably in nyc, partying, working, etc. i said great plan let's see if we can get you out of high school with-a passing grade lol!

yup my sick sense of humor is a huge part of my survival

 

[svengandhi]

It's typical. My daughter used to say stuff like that at that age. Now she is 17 1/2 graduating from HS and she says "I can't believe how much you have sacrificed to give us the life we have." They do eventually get it.

And by the way when my daughter told me she didn't want my life, I told her I didn't want it either but the Shegoddes wouldn't give me a refund.

 

[Jena]

Lol some of this stuff is classic, we should all write a book together! We could all pick a chapter and than we can combine!

17 1/2 and she got it already! wow that's impressive you are ahead of the game.