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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752101" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>This statement is so true. We think that this intermittent broken e-mailing or texting communication of some sort is going to somehow fix their hurt, their mental issues, addictions and that all of a sudden one day in an e-mail or text they're going to "show us" they're changed and on board with life.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure either, how the changed son will arrive (if ever) but you are right, I don't think through an e-mail. I think that as mothers we will know in our hearts if this has taken place. We will see them face to face and see the clarity in their eyes. We will see that they are present to life. We will know. Maybe it's because everything is so instantaneous in our lives now. An e-mail flies across the world in less than a minute. A text the same thing and so on.</p><p></p><p>The kind of healing and help my adult sons need and the work it's going to take on their part is going to take time. I feel some healing within myself accepting that. I am not going to check on e-mails in my delete folder. It's compulsive behavior and doesn't make me feel good.</p><p></p><p>I also, wanted to add that yesterday I mentioned that I never heard my therapist describe that maybe each time I was opening his e-mails was because I wanted to love him and to be loved back. I thought about this last night and it's likely she did tell me this but sometimes in my case, I'm not always open to something initially when I hear it. I'm not ready...I think. Anyways I just felt I needed to say that.</p><p></p><p>Also, Beta...I'm thinking of you as I know the time is getting closer that your son will be out of your sister-in-laws home. My prayers and thoughts are with you and Josh hoping that God will place the right people in his life to help him on this journey.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752101, member: 23405"] This statement is so true. We think that this intermittent broken e-mailing or texting communication of some sort is going to somehow fix their hurt, their mental issues, addictions and that all of a sudden one day in an e-mail or text they're going to "show us" they're changed and on board with life. I'm not sure either, how the changed son will arrive (if ever) but you are right, I don't think through an e-mail. I think that as mothers we will know in our hearts if this has taken place. We will see them face to face and see the clarity in their eyes. We will see that they are present to life. We will know. Maybe it's because everything is so instantaneous in our lives now. An e-mail flies across the world in less than a minute. A text the same thing and so on. The kind of healing and help my adult sons need and the work it's going to take on their part is going to take time. I feel some healing within myself accepting that. I am not going to check on e-mails in my delete folder. It's compulsive behavior and doesn't make me feel good. I also, wanted to add that yesterday I mentioned that I never heard my therapist describe that maybe each time I was opening his e-mails was because I wanted to love him and to be loved back. I thought about this last night and it's likely she did tell me this but sometimes in my case, I'm not always open to something initially when I hear it. I'm not ready...I think. Anyways I just felt I needed to say that. Also, Beta...I'm thinking of you as I know the time is getting closer that your son will be out of your sister-in-laws home. My prayers and thoughts are with you and Josh hoping that God will place the right people in his life to help him on this journey. [/QUOTE]
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