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Enco w 15 year old - at my wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="Estherfromjerusalem" data-source="post: 619056" data-attributes="member: 77"><p>It's been a very long time since I have addressed this problem, but I feel so bad for you.</p><p></p><p>First of all, this problem MUST be seen by a gastro doctor. It's usually with younger children, so we always recommend that a pediatric gastroenterologist should see the child, but 15 is already more or less adult -- but maybe still it should be a pediatric gastro doctor. There are certain physical gastro problems, such as Hirschprungs, that have to be ruled out before treating it as a regular encopresis problem.</p><p></p><p>As for regular encropresis -- be assured that the child does not want this to happen, but simply cannot control it. With most children it seems to just go away some time around puberty. With my son it began at four and a half (after he was completely clean and dry day and night), lasting until thirteen and a half. It was all day, every day, could be as much as 10 times a day.</p><p></p><p>How did I cope with it? Well, I made sure I had a very good supply of pants and underpants, and each time he soiled himself, as soon as we smelled it we pointed it out to him and all we asked of him was that he go to the bathroom and change his clothes and shower himself. I did not force him to clean anything else. I just wanted him NOT to smell. That was more important to me than anything else, primarily so that he would be socially acceptable, at least within the family (we are a large family). But I did not let him walk around dirty and smelling. That was our deal -- he would clean himself and change his clothes, putting the dirty smelly ones on the porch right outside the bathroom, and I would deal with the rest. My gorge rises just remembering having to deal with his dirty clothes, and it was a very long time ago. Oh well!</p><p></p><p>I so understand what you say about the couch smelling bad. I had a nextdoor neighbour who was also a very close friend. She and I and our children were in and out of one another's homes. But she just couldn't bear having my difficult child sit on her couch. I found that hurtful, but I understood.</p><p></p><p>So I wish you luck. I do realise that you can't just ignore it, you have to find some way of coping with the situation. We also tried psychological counselling, which turned out to be an absolute disaster.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted about how you are coping.</p><p></p><p>Love, Esther</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Estherfromjerusalem, post: 619056, member: 77"] It's been a very long time since I have addressed this problem, but I feel so bad for you. First of all, this problem MUST be seen by a gastro doctor. It's usually with younger children, so we always recommend that a pediatric gastroenterologist should see the child, but 15 is already more or less adult -- but maybe still it should be a pediatric gastro doctor. There are certain physical gastro problems, such as Hirschprungs, that have to be ruled out before treating it as a regular encopresis problem. As for regular encropresis -- be assured that the child does not want this to happen, but simply cannot control it. With most children it seems to just go away some time around puberty. With my son it began at four and a half (after he was completely clean and dry day and night), lasting until thirteen and a half. It was all day, every day, could be as much as 10 times a day. How did I cope with it? Well, I made sure I had a very good supply of pants and underpants, and each time he soiled himself, as soon as we smelled it we pointed it out to him and all we asked of him was that he go to the bathroom and change his clothes and shower himself. I did not force him to clean anything else. I just wanted him NOT to smell. That was more important to me than anything else, primarily so that he would be socially acceptable, at least within the family (we are a large family). But I did not let him walk around dirty and smelling. That was our deal -- he would clean himself and change his clothes, putting the dirty smelly ones on the porch right outside the bathroom, and I would deal with the rest. My gorge rises just remembering having to deal with his dirty clothes, and it was a very long time ago. Oh well! I so understand what you say about the couch smelling bad. I had a nextdoor neighbour who was also a very close friend. She and I and our children were in and out of one another's homes. But she just couldn't bear having my difficult child sit on her couch. I found that hurtful, but I understood. So I wish you luck. I do realise that you can't just ignore it, you have to find some way of coping with the situation. We also tried psychological counselling, which turned out to be an absolute disaster. Keep us posted about how you are coping. Love, Esther [/QUOTE]
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