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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 643618" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I used to feel the same way. I used to think "how can I ever be happy again knowing my one and only child is homeless" and yet here I am living a very happy life.</p><p>It takes time. I have been dealing with my difficult child for 20 years. I was able to detach from my son because husband and I have done all we can to try and help him get his life on track. We literally spent years and tens of thousands of dollars in hopes that "this time" he will get it together. I lost track of how many "this time's" there were. The chaos from difficult child was affecting my physical and emotional health and I could not allow him to have that kind of power over my emotions any longer. Let me repeat that part, <u><strong>I could not allow him to have that kind of power over my emotions any longer</strong></u>.</p><p>He was sucking the life force right out of me and it had to stop and the only way was to let him go. It became crystal clear that I could not help him and the only one I could help was myself. I have a life to live and I have to live it for myself. I'm 51, I'm also a cancer survivor. I don't know how many more years I will be blessed to have but I do know that I cannot waste any more of my time or energy worrying about my son. I know he doesn't worry about me or husband. I have to focus on relationships that are healthy and all the positive things in my life. I have a wonderful life and am very happy. 15 years ago I could not have imagined that I would be.</p><p>Don't get me wrong, I will always love my son and will hold onto hope that someday he will decide to make changes in his life but bottom line it's his life and his choices. If he chooses to not work and be homeless there is nothing I can do to change it and not for lack of trying.</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there, you will get through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 643618, member: 18516"] I used to feel the same way. I used to think "how can I ever be happy again knowing my one and only child is homeless" and yet here I am living a very happy life. It takes time. I have been dealing with my difficult child for 20 years. I was able to detach from my son because husband and I have done all we can to try and help him get his life on track. We literally spent years and tens of thousands of dollars in hopes that "this time" he will get it together. I lost track of how many "this time's" there were. The chaos from difficult child was affecting my physical and emotional health and I could not allow him to have that kind of power over my emotions any longer. Let me repeat that part, [U][B]I could not allow him to have that kind of power over my emotions any longer[/B][/U]. He was sucking the life force right out of me and it had to stop and the only way was to let him go. It became crystal clear that I could not help him and the only one I could help was myself. I have a life to live and I have to live it for myself. I'm 51, I'm also a cancer survivor. I don't know how many more years I will be blessed to have but I do know that I cannot waste any more of my time or energy worrying about my son. I know he doesn't worry about me or husband. I have to focus on relationships that are healthy and all the positive things in my life. I have a wonderful life and am very happy. 15 years ago I could not have imagined that I would be. Don't get me wrong, I will always love my son and will hold onto hope that someday he will decide to make changes in his life but bottom line it's his life and his choices. If he chooses to not work and be homeless there is nothing I can do to change it and not for lack of trying. Hang in there, you will get through this. [/QUOTE]
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Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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