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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 643625" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Like grief, these deep, dark emotions are only something you can stay in for periods of time. These rush of emotions will ebb and flow over time. The hardest part of having a disordered child is that while you will never stop loving that child, sometimes the situation warrants that you love them, for your own sanity, from afar. They are there, but loving them is the chosen weapon to use against you. So you don't stop loving them, when you are ready you just make a choice to back away and stop allowing them to you the fact they they know you love them as a weapon against you. Also because the acts of the difficult child take up so much of our energies (mentally, emotionally and even financially) at what point does it become dysfunctional <em>for you </em>to focus so much on the difficult child child and a "good outcome". Is all this focus taking the time and love away from you spouse/partner? Other children? With the financial help you are giving are you endangering your future welfare, your retirement? How long can you imagine in the future you can allow the difficult child to continue to strain you, you relationships and your financial well being? Only each parent here can answer those questions for themselves. Little by little relationships with a difficult child child (adult) chip away at what every good person is deserving of, a happy life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 643625, member: 18366"] Like grief, these deep, dark emotions are only something you can stay in for periods of time. These rush of emotions will ebb and flow over time. The hardest part of having a disordered child is that while you will never stop loving that child, sometimes the situation warrants that you love them, for your own sanity, from afar. They are there, but loving them is the chosen weapon to use against you. So you don't stop loving them, when you are ready you just make a choice to back away and stop allowing them to you the fact they they know you love them as a weapon against you. Also because the acts of the difficult child take up so much of our energies (mentally, emotionally and even financially) at what point does it become dysfunctional [I]for you [/I]to focus so much on the difficult child child and a "good outcome". Is all this focus taking the time and love away from you spouse/partner? Other children? With the financial help you are giving are you endangering your future welfare, your retirement? How long can you imagine in the future you can allow the difficult child to continue to strain you, you relationships and your financial well being? Only each parent here can answer those questions for themselves. Little by little relationships with a difficult child child (adult) chip away at what every good person is deserving of, a happy life. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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