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Estrangement
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726150" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. Your son is acting like a toddler brat after he made himself impossible to live with and used drugs. That is the truth of it. He threatened your husband and cussed you out in your own home.</p><p></p><p>That doesn't mean you don't still love him and sometimes forget he is an adult doing meth ( very nasty drug...my daughter used it with cocaine) however nothing about this drug use or his home in a meth house is anyone's fault but his. They all guilt us about how our divorce, or how we yelled at them at age ten or how we don't love them (big lie and they know it) drove them to this point but words are not facts. These types of words are meant to hurt and guilt us so that we feel bad (maybe because lthey are ashamed and need a scapegoat) and to get favors from us because of our guilt. Your son is punishing you because you dared to want hi to act half his age in your house. He wants you to put u with anything he shoves at you. </p><p></p><p>Drug addict adult kids can take over the family</p><p> Is that fair to the others?</p><p></p><p>You have 2 choices. You can ruin you golden years over an adult child you have no control over. Or you can get therapy and maybe go to NA to learn coping skills and to build a life for yourself. Your angst won't help your son improve or act more loving. The addicted brain is not kind. </p><p></p><p>You only have any control over one person...yourself. You are a good person and deserve to start loving yourself first. Your son will heal if he chooses, when he chooses. Your killing yourself with stress will not help your son. Please start being good to yourself and go for help. You need a fresh perspective. You need a therapist to put it into reality when adult son snubs or abuses you. You need to put a good life first too...for you. It can be done. Many of us do it/have done it.</p><p></p><p>Nothing changes if nothing changes. Hugs and love <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726150, member: 1550"] Hi. Your son is acting like a toddler brat after he made himself impossible to live with and used drugs. That is the truth of it. He threatened your husband and cussed you out in your own home. That doesn't mean you don't still love him and sometimes forget he is an adult doing meth ( very nasty drug...my daughter used it with cocaine) however nothing about this drug use or his home in a meth house is anyone's fault but his. They all guilt us about how our divorce, or how we yelled at them at age ten or how we don't love them (big lie and they know it) drove them to this point but words are not facts. These types of words are meant to hurt and guilt us so that we feel bad (maybe because lthey are ashamed and need a scapegoat) and to get favors from us because of our guilt. Your son is punishing you because you dared to want hi to act half his age in your house. He wants you to put u with anything he shoves at you. Drug addict adult kids can take over the family Is that fair to the others? You have 2 choices. You can ruin you golden years over an adult child you have no control over. Or you can get therapy and maybe go to NA to learn coping skills and to build a life for yourself. Your angst won't help your son improve or act more loving. The addicted brain is not kind. You only have any control over one person...yourself. You are a good person and deserve to start loving yourself first. Your son will heal if he chooses, when he chooses. Your killing yourself with stress will not help your son. Please start being good to yourself and go for help. You need a fresh perspective. You need a therapist to put it into reality when adult son snubs or abuses you. You need to put a good life first too...for you. It can be done. Many of us do it/have done it. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Hugs and love :) [/QUOTE]
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