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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 726173" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Red Cedar, welcome. I'm sorry you're going thru this nightmare with your son. You've received very good advice....please begin taking care of YOU now. You matter. You deserve a life of joy and peace. </p><p></p><p>It's time for your son to face the natural consequences of his choices. You cannot save him, fix him, heal him, control him or in any way make any difference that HE is not ready to make. You did not cause this. What you are is powerless.....which is the hardest thing to accept. We're all powerless to impact the lives of another. All we can do is learn how to respond differently. And learn how to accept what we can't control.</p><p></p><p>You might find solace in the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may also benefit from reading Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Since your son has mental issues, you may try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them online and they have chapters in many cities. They offer an excellent parent course which will provide you with resources, information, guidance and support. It may be helpful as well to look into Families anonymous or Al Anon, many here find comfort in the 12 step groups.</p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you've reached your "bottom." From that point, you can rise up. It's not easy to detach from our adult troubled kids choices and behaviors but it becomes necessary for our own health and well being. Get yourself as much support as you can muster. Continue posting, it helps to write down our stories and get support from others who understand and have compassion for our plight. Focus on your own needs now. Find joy and laughter, fun and comfort. Take care of YOU now. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 726173, member: 13542"] Red Cedar, welcome. I'm sorry you're going thru this nightmare with your son. You've received very good advice....please begin taking care of YOU now. You matter. You deserve a life of joy and peace. It's time for your son to face the natural consequences of his choices. You cannot save him, fix him, heal him, control him or in any way make any difference that HE is not ready to make. You did not cause this. What you are is powerless.....which is the hardest thing to accept. We're all powerless to impact the lives of another. All we can do is learn how to respond differently. And learn how to accept what we can't control. You might find solace in the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may also benefit from reading Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Since your son has mental issues, you may try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them online and they have chapters in many cities. They offer an excellent parent course which will provide you with resources, information, guidance and support. It may be helpful as well to look into Families anonymous or Al Anon, many here find comfort in the 12 step groups. It sounds as if you've reached your "bottom." From that point, you can rise up. It's not easy to detach from our adult troubled kids choices and behaviors but it becomes necessary for our own health and well being. Get yourself as much support as you can muster. Continue posting, it helps to write down our stories and get support from others who understand and have compassion for our plight. Focus on your own needs now. Find joy and laughter, fun and comfort. Take care of YOU now. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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