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<blockquote data-quote="Liv_on_sunset" data-source="post: 707762" data-attributes="member: 21418"><p>Thank you everyone for your advice. Really helps me reground (is that a word?). So for an update:</p><p></p><p>According to dad and grandfather Joe was the instigator and dad never touched him. And didnt kick him out either. He left on his own. This is what they told my daughter. Just the fact that grandad said the same I tend to believe it. He has a level head. I dont think he would cover for dad, he never has before.</p><p></p><p>Last night he called me and text several times. I was at work and couldnt answer. His texts said he wanted to go back to Seattle, they have resources for homeless unlike our hometown.We were all pieces of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> for not helping him with the dad situation. My daughter has paid for a motel for him everytime they fight, although each time she (and I) have gently mentioned how easy it would be for him to find a place since he has a job and car now. Also said he wished there was assisted suicide for people who were tired of the bullshit and whose lives would never be worth anything. Uggh.</p><p></p><p>There is so much backstory to this. I should have started from the top for everyone but that would have been so much to read! And I didnt think it would have taken the turn that it did.but Long story short this whole thing has been the pattern for the last three years. He bounces back and forth from Seattle to hometown. This time we were hoping things would go better, since he got a job and grandad helped with the car. I really had hope and was on his side which Im sure you could tell by my post. Im always on his side, we all are, which hurts so much more when he throws it all away. I love that kid but he has steadily burned every bridge. I wont let him come here because hes been abusive to me in the past, Im afraid he would do the same thing here as he has done in Ks and we are barely making it financially to have another person. </p><p></p><p>I dont think he is using but I believe he needs psychiatric help. He absolutely refuses and says nothing wrong with him and our society thinks pills are the answer to everything.He says they cant tell him anything about himself that he doesnt already know. </p><p></p><p>Just spoke with my daughter and she said his car is at dads nobody knows where he is and his phone goes to voicemail. That could be hes out of minutes or because he broke the phone like he mentioned he was going to in one of his texts last night. His laptop is gone from the house. She thinks he had enough money to get a ticket, bus or train back to Seattle. So now the waiting game.</p><p></p><p>Half of me feels guilty for not helping him more and the other half says you can only rescue someone so many times. Hes an adult, makes his own choices and has to live with those choices. Every time someone puts a hand out for him instead of running with it he ends up ruining the chance and then not hesitating to call us all pieces of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />.</p><p></p><p>So thats the gravity of the situation. Thankfully I have started seeing a therapist, not just the son issues but it usually ends up being what we talk about.</p><p></p><p>So thank you again, you all have given sound advice and I will come here often.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liv_on_sunset, post: 707762, member: 21418"] Thank you everyone for your advice. Really helps me reground (is that a word?). So for an update: According to dad and grandfather Joe was the instigator and dad never touched him. And didnt kick him out either. He left on his own. This is what they told my daughter. Just the fact that grandad said the same I tend to believe it. He has a level head. I dont think he would cover for dad, he never has before. Last night he called me and text several times. I was at work and couldnt answer. His texts said he wanted to go back to Seattle, they have resources for homeless unlike our hometown.We were all pieces of :censored2: for not helping him with the dad situation. My daughter has paid for a motel for him everytime they fight, although each time she (and I) have gently mentioned how easy it would be for him to find a place since he has a job and car now. Also said he wished there was assisted suicide for people who were tired of the bullshit and whose lives would never be worth anything. Uggh. There is so much backstory to this. I should have started from the top for everyone but that would have been so much to read! And I didnt think it would have taken the turn that it did.but Long story short this whole thing has been the pattern for the last three years. He bounces back and forth from Seattle to hometown. This time we were hoping things would go better, since he got a job and grandad helped with the car. I really had hope and was on his side which Im sure you could tell by my post. Im always on his side, we all are, which hurts so much more when he throws it all away. I love that kid but he has steadily burned every bridge. I wont let him come here because hes been abusive to me in the past, Im afraid he would do the same thing here as he has done in Ks and we are barely making it financially to have another person. I dont think he is using but I believe he needs psychiatric help. He absolutely refuses and says nothing wrong with him and our society thinks pills are the answer to everything.He says they cant tell him anything about himself that he doesnt already know. Just spoke with my daughter and she said his car is at dads nobody knows where he is and his phone goes to voicemail. That could be hes out of minutes or because he broke the phone like he mentioned he was going to in one of his texts last night. His laptop is gone from the house. She thinks he had enough money to get a ticket, bus or train back to Seattle. So now the waiting game. Half of me feels guilty for not helping him more and the other half says you can only rescue someone so many times. Hes an adult, makes his own choices and has to live with those choices. Every time someone puts a hand out for him instead of running with it he ends up ruining the chance and then not hesitating to call us all pieces of :censored2:. So thats the gravity of the situation. Thankfully I have started seeing a therapist, not just the son issues but it usually ends up being what we talk about. So thank you again, you all have given sound advice and I will come here often. [/QUOTE]
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