Hi,
I would use articles , web pages etc. Most approaches today are choose your battles , so that's basket A and C . Positive reinforcements as opposed to negative ones are in. So what does using basket B help in a kid's development and education. It helps the relationship , the development of various cognitive and life skills and the integration of values
read chapt 3 from Treating explosive kids by Ross Greene
http://www.guilford.com/excerpts/greene.pdf
Myrna Shure
http://thinkingchild.com/
Bonnie Harris
http://bonnieharris.com/
Alfie Kohn - Unconditional parenting
http://alfiekohn.org
When discussing parenting you may look at 3 areas
1 influence , control and relationship - our influence on our kids and this will become very apparent in the teenage years which can start 11+ depends really on the quality of the relationship and trust. Limit setting is most effective and becomes more of a self discipline when understanding are reached , the kid and you have examined and empathized with both your concerns , inductive learning than deductive learning. Relationship is not just sharing moments of success , praise , warmth , love but rather communication, dialog , feeling understood , giving a child a voice , respecting her as individual. Education and that is what parenting is all about , the word discipline comes from the latin to teach , hence the word disciple , a student etc , so in Judiasm we call/bless parents , my father- mother, my teacher
2 Values - The kid uses thinking and understanding , and will integrate the values you are trying to teach, make them his own in his individual and unique way that gives expression to his personality and uniqueness. Here articles by Alfie Kohn - intrinsic motivation and reward vs what's in it for me motivation.
3 Life and various cognitive skills
The way we talk with our kids is the greatest educational tool we have . We teach the life skills of getting along with people, problem solving skills and conitive skills such as executive functions , language processing skills, cognitive flexibility, social skills, emotional regualtion skills. Educationalists are becoming more aware that teaching kids how to think is more important than giving information.
Our relationship with others = empathy
Our values - prosocial and being a contributor focusing on internal motivation and reward
Our life skills
are some of the important gifts we can pass on to our kids.
If we become proactive parents, working on the front end , rather than reacting to situations that go wrong , we can develop a relationship that will ensure cooperation for both the child and parent's emotional growth, development annd happiness. We have to focus on all the time with our kids , not only when things go wrong.
Allan