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Ex's husband throws constant F bomb at son and threatens him over coat in front of grandson
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 726015" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think that your son should have his phone set to record every time he drops J off. He won't know what will be said until it is said, and this way he will have whatever is said on tape. He can always delete ones that don't show anything. </p><p></p><p>I think he needs to keep in mind that he is the only protection that J has. The protective father has to stay at the front. Until now, he has not seen the evidence of Mac's behavior. Now he sees it, and I know it must be ugly. Encourage him to document, document, document. It is EXCELLENT for him to run the emails past you before he sends them, at least for as long as you can manage it. He needs that second voice to help him be professional and calmly concerned, to hit the right note of concerned but reasonable. The more he is reasonable, the more she will NOT be. </p><p></p><p>I think maybe she has called the tune for a long time. Maybe with more of this developing, and with your son recording the handoffs on his phone, it would be possible for your son to get proof that she is not so great a mom and that this Mac is an abusive stepdad. It would be helpful if J could speak up, but that is a lot of pressure on a little boy. The punishment for speaking up is probably horrific. Emotionally if not physically horrific. </p><p></p><p>I also think your son needs to stop stressing over losing custody. I know in our area, my brother could only have lost custody if he was proven unfit. Short of actively proving abuse, the judges here won't budge from 50/50 custody. I do mean NOTHING short of outright abuse that is seen by someone (not bruises or welts left, someone seeing the abuse happening). We had cops and strangers finding my niece a mile or more from her home and calling my parents because her mother would not wake up (passed out/OD/went out for a bite to eat while her child was out on a walk at age 5-6-7!!). The judge wouldn't even caution ex sis in law about her parenting or her addiction putting her custody of her child at risk. </p><p></p><p>As long as Bart is showing up in court, and is doing what his lawyer says, I doubt he is going to lose custody. In fact, with all of her attempts at sole custody with no visitation, his ex may lose custody for being unreasonable. Judges get sick and tired of the parent that won't even attempt to be human about the whole situation and do what is best for the child. If your son can keep his cool and be reasonable according to what his lawyer thinks should be happening, your son may come out the winner.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 726015, member: 1233"] I think that your son should have his phone set to record every time he drops J off. He won't know what will be said until it is said, and this way he will have whatever is said on tape. He can always delete ones that don't show anything. I think he needs to keep in mind that he is the only protection that J has. The protective father has to stay at the front. Until now, he has not seen the evidence of Mac's behavior. Now he sees it, and I know it must be ugly. Encourage him to document, document, document. It is EXCELLENT for him to run the emails past you before he sends them, at least for as long as you can manage it. He needs that second voice to help him be professional and calmly concerned, to hit the right note of concerned but reasonable. The more he is reasonable, the more she will NOT be. I think maybe she has called the tune for a long time. Maybe with more of this developing, and with your son recording the handoffs on his phone, it would be possible for your son to get proof that she is not so great a mom and that this Mac is an abusive stepdad. It would be helpful if J could speak up, but that is a lot of pressure on a little boy. The punishment for speaking up is probably horrific. Emotionally if not physically horrific. I also think your son needs to stop stressing over losing custody. I know in our area, my brother could only have lost custody if he was proven unfit. Short of actively proving abuse, the judges here won't budge from 50/50 custody. I do mean NOTHING short of outright abuse that is seen by someone (not bruises or welts left, someone seeing the abuse happening). We had cops and strangers finding my niece a mile or more from her home and calling my parents because her mother would not wake up (passed out/OD/went out for a bite to eat while her child was out on a walk at age 5-6-7!!). The judge wouldn't even caution ex sis in law about her parenting or her addiction putting her custody of her child at risk. As long as Bart is showing up in court, and is doing what his lawyer says, I doubt he is going to lose custody. In fact, with all of her attempts at sole custody with no visitation, his ex may lose custody for being unreasonable. Judges get sick and tired of the parent that won't even attempt to be human about the whole situation and do what is best for the child. If your son can keep his cool and be reasonable according to what his lawyer thinks should be happening, your son may come out the winner. [/QUOTE]
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Ex's husband throws constant F bomb at son and threatens him over coat in front of grandson
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