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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 643484" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>MWM, without you to focus and discharge their hatred, the sibs drown in its overflow. Raised as you were, they will vibrate around those same core issues I think, but each from a different perspective than yours.</p><p></p><p>That is how it was explained to me.</p><p></p><p>It is the same, sick energy being processed in each sibling. The healthier you seem, the further away from the hurt of it, the more they are left to ruminate in their own toxicity.</p><p></p><p>Their efforts to come back into balance, now that you are not the fulcrum for the discharge of energy, become desperate.</p><p></p><p>That is how it looks to me.</p><p></p><p>I cannot imagine why my sister continues to call me? But one of the first things she said was: "We've been duped."</p><p></p><p>We ~ my sister, my brother, my mother ~ are not involved, these days. So "we" could not have been duped. My sister and my mother have to play by themselves, now. Neither is famous for playing nicely or well.</p><p></p><p>There is no buffer, now. There is no one to redefine or reinterpret the meaning of the things they do.</p><p></p><p>I feel badly for you, MWM. It hurts, I know. But you have us, and we know you, and we know better than those things they posted about you. Personality does come through, here on the site. The more we post to and about others, the less we can hide about ourselves.</p><p></p><p>You are deeply cherished here, MWM.</p><p></p><p>There is a reason why this is so.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry, but your family continues to be toxic to you. You cannot help or save them Pam, any more than I could help or save my own family of origin.</p><p></p><p>But I think we always hope...and that is the weapon they then use against us.</p><p></p><p>You did the right thing in sending the cards and in loving your family enough to want to know how they are through checking them out on FB.</p><p></p><p>That counts.</p><p></p><p>But...it isn't about them, anymore.</p><p></p><p>Thank heaven, it isn't about them.</p><p></p><p>They will have to find their own way Pam, just as you did. It is not an easy thing, to tell ourselves the truth. Some of us never do find the courage and so, we do not change.</p><p></p><p>You did.</p><p></p><p>Alone is better than toxic.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for the hurt of it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 643484, member: 17461"] MWM, without you to focus and discharge their hatred, the sibs drown in its overflow. Raised as you were, they will vibrate around those same core issues I think, but each from a different perspective than yours. That is how it was explained to me. It is the same, sick energy being processed in each sibling. The healthier you seem, the further away from the hurt of it, the more they are left to ruminate in their own toxicity. Their efforts to come back into balance, now that you are not the fulcrum for the discharge of energy, become desperate. That is how it looks to me. I cannot imagine why my sister continues to call me? But one of the first things she said was: "We've been duped." We ~ my sister, my brother, my mother ~ are not involved, these days. So "we" could not have been duped. My sister and my mother have to play by themselves, now. Neither is famous for playing nicely or well. There is no buffer, now. There is no one to redefine or reinterpret the meaning of the things they do. I feel badly for you, MWM. It hurts, I know. But you have us, and we know you, and we know better than those things they posted about you. Personality does come through, here on the site. The more we post to and about others, the less we can hide about ourselves. You are deeply cherished here, MWM. There is a reason why this is so. I am so sorry, but your family continues to be toxic to you. You cannot help or save them Pam, any more than I could help or save my own family of origin. But I think we always hope...and that is the weapon they then use against us. You did the right thing in sending the cards and in loving your family enough to want to know how they are through checking them out on FB. That counts. But...it isn't about them, anymore. Thank heaven, it isn't about them. They will have to find their own way Pam, just as you did. It is not an easy thing, to tell ourselves the truth. Some of us never do find the courage and so, we do not change. You did. Alone is better than toxic. I am sorry for the hurt of it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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