Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Facing a tough decision
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 492018" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It is not a fun or easy situation, is it? I am sorry it has come to this. I think you are right to give him a week or so notice that you are not paying another dime for a program he isn't committed to. in my opinion at this point it is time to get firm, even hardened, and cut off all $$ and support other than maybe a pay as you go phone and emotional support. ANY $$ you give him goes to his addiction. He clearly hasn't hit bottom or committed to the program. he is doing the program to keep you off his back so he can gamble as he likes. No matter what it is you give him, a place to sleep, food, clothes, it just means he doesn't have to spend that amt of $$ on necessities and can spend it on poker.</p><p></p><p>He is 22. He is NOT a child or teen no matter what he wants to be. If he wants someone to baby him, then let hm go find a rich girlfriend to care for him. Until such a fairy godmother, or I guess a Wendy is more in line for Peter Pan, comes along, he NEEDS to live with his problems, not have you support him and enable his addiction.</p><p></p><p>I would continue to pay for medications IF and ONLY IF he could prove compliance. Maybe having him take them in front of someone at a sober house, etc.... </p><p></p><p>It is a tough problem and the answers are not easy. It si easy for me to type that you should NOT give him anything, but at least a million times harder to do it. </p><p></p><p>He will likely threaten suicide if/when you stop paying for the program or giving him whatever you are now giving him. Make SURE you call the hospital and tell them he is a danger to himself if he utters those words. DON"t let him get away with-o the psychiatric exam even if you have to keep calling each time he says it. Even fi the ambulance leaves with-o him and he then starts telling you he will hurt himself, don't give in and do call 911 again. </p><p></p><p>Most of all, listen to your instincts. They are telling you that Peter Pan is not sincere about getting hlp. Until he is, you are tossing away your $$. It is time to make this Peter Pan's problem, NOT yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 492018, member: 1233"] It is not a fun or easy situation, is it? I am sorry it has come to this. I think you are right to give him a week or so notice that you are not paying another dime for a program he isn't committed to. in my opinion at this point it is time to get firm, even hardened, and cut off all $$ and support other than maybe a pay as you go phone and emotional support. ANY $$ you give him goes to his addiction. He clearly hasn't hit bottom or committed to the program. he is doing the program to keep you off his back so he can gamble as he likes. No matter what it is you give him, a place to sleep, food, clothes, it just means he doesn't have to spend that amt of $$ on necessities and can spend it on poker. He is 22. He is NOT a child or teen no matter what he wants to be. If he wants someone to baby him, then let hm go find a rich girlfriend to care for him. Until such a fairy godmother, or I guess a Wendy is more in line for Peter Pan, comes along, he NEEDS to live with his problems, not have you support him and enable his addiction. I would continue to pay for medications IF and ONLY IF he could prove compliance. Maybe having him take them in front of someone at a sober house, etc.... It is a tough problem and the answers are not easy. It si easy for me to type that you should NOT give him anything, but at least a million times harder to do it. He will likely threaten suicide if/when you stop paying for the program or giving him whatever you are now giving him. Make SURE you call the hospital and tell them he is a danger to himself if he utters those words. DON"t let him get away with-o the psychiatric exam even if you have to keep calling each time he says it. Even fi the ambulance leaves with-o him and he then starts telling you he will hurt himself, don't give in and do call 911 again. Most of all, listen to your instincts. They are telling you that Peter Pan is not sincere about getting hlp. Until he is, you are tossing away your $$. It is time to make this Peter Pan's problem, NOT yours. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Facing a tough decision
Top