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Fairy Tales and the Healing Journey
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 680536" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I love this. These are the extra words, the words of meaning and intention and acknowledgment I did not have. </p><p></p><p>Thank you very much, New Leaf.</p><p></p><p><em>"If you are mindful, you will hear his or her voice calling for help."</em></p><p></p><p>Before, I had words and images. For that imagery too intense for me to encompass, I found witness. It is different, now. Now, when I am in that place that happens after a level has been breached, I am in a wordless, nameless place. I am in everything that lives beneath shame. </p><p></p><p>I am there to save Dorothy.</p><p></p><p>Whichever thread we discussed that on, that is where I am. Abandonment lives there, and globalized feelings that are without eyes or a name to limit them. The active, living hatred fueling the things that happened, the physical nothing more than evidence of the spiritual energies behind the act. It is very much like being lost, New Leaf, and I thank you and agree wholeheartedly with the TEDx speaker you posted for us about how that feels, and about the value in it.</p><p></p><p>So, Joseph Campbell's (and everyone else's) Hero's Quest.</p><p></p><p>Fresh perspectives cannot be attained if we think we already know. That is why we have seek the place where we are lost. When we are lost, then we can know there is a possibility of finding the healing path. </p><p></p><p>And if we don't find it, at least we can know we are still lost, and then, we have hope. </p><p></p><p>Which is the next thing to faith, and is all we need.</p><p></p><p>Holding faith with ourselves in the lost places, something once so impossible for us, <em>is</em> the healing.</p><p></p><p>But I still think we will find the words. The words will make it easier to remember.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>When we have no words, we have no way to erect barriers between ourselves and the feelings. They go global, infecting everything. For those raised gently and with intention the globalized feelings will be good ones. High self esteem, for them. Positive grandiosity, reflected in the mother's eyes, is the way I once heard it described. For us too, in some areas. But for us there are other areas where the feelings globalized will be contempt; will be shame at the contempt as we learn to hide it from ourselves, adding a sense of guilty deceit. This was described, in that same article I read so long ago, as negative grandiosity, reflected from the mother's eyes and into those of her infant. </p><p></p><p>Globalized. </p><p></p><p>What went global for us, and why, and reining that in with our words and our bravery and our powers to define things into or out of existence be declaring them of value or declaring them, understanding them, to be valueless things; empty shells of what might have been.</p><p></p><p>Shame becomes an intrinsic presence; it becomes our most intense feeling state,</p><p>our go to response because it is bearable, compared to the contempt that spawned it.</p><p></p><p>But as we heal, we learn shame is something we created to save ourselves from what lies beneath. </p><p></p><p>Then, we choose lost.</p><p></p><p>We stay present to it by remembering that we carry with us everything that matters.</p><p></p><p>And then, we remember we are not lost because we navigate by the stars.</p><p></p><p>Which have seen everything.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>It is very much like being lost, Leafy. A decision to stay with those feelings brings words I can try and cast away and try again, coming nearer each time to unraveling spells cast in that wordless time before words. When we understand that the abusers, if they were our parents (and probably this is true for the sibs) is this: Had they not loved us, we would not be alive to our kindness or pain or joy. We would be dead inside. Instead, we are alive enough to suffer.</p><p></p><p>So, that's good, then.</p><p></p><p>If they loved us, they loved us desperately. They were hurt themselves, to have done what they have done. That is why they lie now. They will not survive knowing what happened. We will never know whether their challenges were so much deeper and more devastating than our own. </p><p></p><p>So, we will believe they were.</p><p></p><p>In this, we can find respect for the mothers. (Or the entire Family of Origin.) </p><p></p><p>And a personal daystar begins to shine, giving us its light.</p><p></p><p>That is a quote from Maria Harris.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>This is another way of saying they did the best they knew. But for us, for those of us hurt in our childhoods, it will help us to know that what the parents surmounted to do their best by us was horrific.</p><p></p><p>Then, we can know their bravery, and feel pride in our own blood, again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 680536, member: 17461"] I love this. These are the extra words, the words of meaning and intention and acknowledgment I did not have. Thank you very much, New Leaf. [I]"If you are mindful, you will hear his or her voice calling for help."[/I] Before, I had words and images. For that imagery too intense for me to encompass, I found witness. It is different, now. Now, when I am in that place that happens after a level has been breached, I am in a wordless, nameless place. I am in everything that lives beneath shame. I am there to save Dorothy. Whichever thread we discussed that on, that is where I am. Abandonment lives there, and globalized feelings that are without eyes or a name to limit them. The active, living hatred fueling the things that happened, the physical nothing more than evidence of the spiritual energies behind the act. It is very much like being lost, New Leaf, and I thank you and agree wholeheartedly with the TEDx speaker you posted for us about how that feels, and about the value in it. So, Joseph Campbell's (and everyone else's) Hero's Quest. Fresh perspectives cannot be attained if we think we already know. That is why we have seek the place where we are lost. When we are lost, then we can know there is a possibility of finding the healing path. And if we don't find it, at least we can know we are still lost, and then, we have hope. Which is the next thing to faith, and is all we need. Holding faith with ourselves in the lost places, something once so impossible for us, [I]is[/I] the healing. But I still think we will find the words. The words will make it easier to remember. *** When we have no words, we have no way to erect barriers between ourselves and the feelings. They go global, infecting everything. For those raised gently and with intention the globalized feelings will be good ones. High self esteem, for them. Positive grandiosity, reflected in the mother's eyes, is the way I once heard it described. For us too, in some areas. But for us there are other areas where the feelings globalized will be contempt; will be shame at the contempt as we learn to hide it from ourselves, adding a sense of guilty deceit. This was described, in that same article I read so long ago, as negative grandiosity, reflected from the mother's eyes and into those of her infant. Globalized. What went global for us, and why, and reining that in with our words and our bravery and our powers to define things into or out of existence be declaring them of value or declaring them, understanding them, to be valueless things; empty shells of what might have been. Shame becomes an intrinsic presence; it becomes our most intense feeling state, our go to response because it is bearable, compared to the contempt that spawned it. But as we heal, we learn shame is something we created to save ourselves from what lies beneath. Then, we choose lost. We stay present to it by remembering that we carry with us everything that matters. And then, we remember we are not lost because we navigate by the stars. Which have seen everything. *** It is very much like being lost, Leafy. A decision to stay with those feelings brings words I can try and cast away and try again, coming nearer each time to unraveling spells cast in that wordless time before words. When we understand that the abusers, if they were our parents (and probably this is true for the sibs) is this: Had they not loved us, we would not be alive to our kindness or pain or joy. We would be dead inside. Instead, we are alive enough to suffer. So, that's good, then. If they loved us, they loved us desperately. They were hurt themselves, to have done what they have done. That is why they lie now. They will not survive knowing what happened. We will never know whether their challenges were so much deeper and more devastating than our own. So, we will believe they were. In this, we can find respect for the mothers. (Or the entire Family of Origin.) And a personal daystar begins to shine, giving us its light. That is a quote from Maria Harris. Cedar This is another way of saying they did the best they knew. But for us, for those of us hurt in our childhoods, it will help us to know that what the parents surmounted to do their best by us was horrific. Then, we can know their bravery, and feel pride in our own blood, again. [/QUOTE]
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