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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 618873" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Hmmm well backinthesaddle I have a different take on this. Detaching from their behavior is not the same as detaching from them. Eighteen is very young. I could no more expect my difficult child in the middle of her addiction to find the help she needed at 18 than I could ignore her when she called for help to get sober. Irregardless of what Phoebe's son is doing he has also asked for help. Pointing him in the right direction to get sober is not enabling them.</p><p></p><p>I belong to an active support group connected with one of our most successful sober houses in our city. We never turn away an addict when they ask for help. They may not get the help they want, i.e., money for a hotel, but they will always get help in finding a detox or sober house.</p><p></p><p>I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a point where we have to make the addict responsible for their own recovery but that doesn't mean we can't help them find a place to detox and the rest is up to them. When my daughter called us after she relapsed after treatment and went to live with a neighbor heroin addict and she wanted to come home we told her no but we gave her a list of places to call for detox/treatment that we had researched for her. She made those calls and set up an appointment and called to ask us to drive her there and we jumped right on it. We even let her come home for two days before she went in because she had no place else to go and the place she was staying at was not a good place to be. Everyone has to do what they feel is right for their family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 618873, member: 59"] Hmmm well backinthesaddle I have a different take on this. Detaching from their behavior is not the same as detaching from them. Eighteen is very young. I could no more expect my difficult child in the middle of her addiction to find the help she needed at 18 than I could ignore her when she called for help to get sober. Irregardless of what Phoebe's son is doing he has also asked for help. Pointing him in the right direction to get sober is not enabling them. I belong to an active support group connected with one of our most successful sober houses in our city. We never turn away an addict when they ask for help. They may not get the help they want, i.e., money for a hotel, but they will always get help in finding a detox or sober house. I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a point where we have to make the addict responsible for their own recovery but that doesn't mean we can't help them find a place to detox and the rest is up to them. When my daughter called us after she relapsed after treatment and went to live with a neighbor heroin addict and she wanted to come home we told her no but we gave her a list of places to call for detox/treatment that we had researched for her. She made those calls and set up an appointment and called to ask us to drive her there and we jumped right on it. We even let her come home for two days before she went in because she had no place else to go and the place she was staying at was not a good place to be. Everyone has to do what they feel is right for their family. [/QUOTE]
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