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Falling apart
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 733487" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Hello and welcome. You are in the right place. I am so sorry that you are watching your precious daughter self-destruct, that must be the worst feeling in the world. The good news though is that she is VERY young and you have a great deal of time to make a difference in her situation.</p><p></p><p>First, please know that none of this is your fault or your husband's. It is possible her premature birth may have caused some issues, but that is NOT your fault. Some kids are just difficult even when none of the other children in the family have those characteristics. Don't blame yourself. You have done, are doing and will continue to do everything possible for your child.</p><p></p><p>Second, are you in contact with social services? It's great that you are in the process of having her evaluated. Something - perhaps multiple things - is definitely going on with her. The most pressing concern in my eyes is her older sister and your soon to be newborn. It would be awful if your troubled daughter hurt (or worse) your new baby, and sadly some of these kids ARE indeed that disturbed. And the fact that your husband lost his job because of this child - I am assuming because he had to take so much time off to deal with her - says to me that the situation is just not sustainable the way it is. One of you has to work after all!</p><p></p><p>Social services can help you identify support and if necessary can involve the child welfare system as the fact is, from what you describe, if she is not a danger to her older sister she will almost certainly be a danger to her new sibling. The authorities have an obligation to help you protect your new baby as well as her older sister. You cannot sacrifice the older children for this one, they deserve as much love and attention as she does. It may be necessary, sadly, even at her young age, to consider some kind of therapeutic placement where she can get the therapy and structure she seems to need 24/7.</p><p></p><p>I agree that some of the behaviors you describe do sound like autism spectrum behaviors. Some though, particularly the antisocial piece where she is stealing, etc., seem like they might be something else. I agree with getting a thorough assessment, and please also involve CPS in your area. They will help you in many ways.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck and keep posting!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 733487, member: 13303"] Hello and welcome. You are in the right place. I am so sorry that you are watching your precious daughter self-destruct, that must be the worst feeling in the world. The good news though is that she is VERY young and you have a great deal of time to make a difference in her situation. First, please know that none of this is your fault or your husband's. It is possible her premature birth may have caused some issues, but that is NOT your fault. Some kids are just difficult even when none of the other children in the family have those characteristics. Don't blame yourself. You have done, are doing and will continue to do everything possible for your child. Second, are you in contact with social services? It's great that you are in the process of having her evaluated. Something - perhaps multiple things - is definitely going on with her. The most pressing concern in my eyes is her older sister and your soon to be newborn. It would be awful if your troubled daughter hurt (or worse) your new baby, and sadly some of these kids ARE indeed that disturbed. And the fact that your husband lost his job because of this child - I am assuming because he had to take so much time off to deal with her - says to me that the situation is just not sustainable the way it is. One of you has to work after all! Social services can help you identify support and if necessary can involve the child welfare system as the fact is, from what you describe, if she is not a danger to her older sister she will almost certainly be a danger to her new sibling. The authorities have an obligation to help you protect your new baby as well as her older sister. You cannot sacrifice the older children for this one, they deserve as much love and attention as she does. It may be necessary, sadly, even at her young age, to consider some kind of therapeutic placement where she can get the therapy and structure she seems to need 24/7. I agree that some of the behaviors you describe do sound like autism spectrum behaviors. Some though, particularly the antisocial piece where she is stealing, etc., seem like they might be something else. I agree with getting a thorough assessment, and please also involve CPS in your area. They will help you in many ways. Best of luck and keep posting! [/QUOTE]
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