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Falling off the rational thinking wagon...
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 483990" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>If i would only listen to my own advice....</p><p></p><p>I just posted on Pepper's thread about how we likelly couldn't have done anything different with our difficult children. I made real sense. And then...</p><p></p><p>I was looking though old photos for a project I need to do for school. I wasn't even in the box with difficult child's photos (I was looking through vintage family photos and having a lovely time), but then I ran across oa photo from her homecoming in her sophomore year.</p><p></p><p>She looked so beautiful and so happy. I remember buying the dress. She loved it and was thrilled with it, even though we got it at a second hand shop because it was the first year her dad was gone. I'd taken her to have her hair done, we shopped for jewelery together (big time local dept store sale). In the photo she is striking a confident pose and she is absolutely beautiful.</p><p></p><p>Now she mostly wears her boyfriend's or her dad's clothes ... or really hootchy things that are cut so low you almost can't look at her. Her beautiful hair is several different colors and is almost always filthy.. When I see her she frequently hasn't showered, she's gained about sixty pounds...</p><p></p><p>But all of that is nothing comapared with the fact that the light has gone out of her eyes. The happy girl in that photo is a memory. All of the things I mentioned above about her appearance are mere symptoms of the real issue: that she is grappling with something that is slowly pulling her under. She is grappling with something bigger than her and bigger than the mom who would move heavan and earth to save her...if only that were within my power.</p><p></p><p>And, yes, I looked at that photo and wondered if I knew then what I know now ... would I have done anything differently? And would it have mattered?</p><p></p><p>I know the answer, but it doesn't make it easier right now.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 483990, member: 9175"] If i would only listen to my own advice.... I just posted on Pepper's thread about how we likelly couldn't have done anything different with our difficult children. I made real sense. And then... I was looking though old photos for a project I need to do for school. I wasn't even in the box with difficult child's photos (I was looking through vintage family photos and having a lovely time), but then I ran across oa photo from her homecoming in her sophomore year. She looked so beautiful and so happy. I remember buying the dress. She loved it and was thrilled with it, even though we got it at a second hand shop because it was the first year her dad was gone. I'd taken her to have her hair done, we shopped for jewelery together (big time local dept store sale). In the photo she is striking a confident pose and she is absolutely beautiful. Now she mostly wears her boyfriend's or her dad's clothes ... or really hootchy things that are cut so low you almost can't look at her. Her beautiful hair is several different colors and is almost always filthy.. When I see her she frequently hasn't showered, she's gained about sixty pounds... But all of that is nothing comapared with the fact that the light has gone out of her eyes. The happy girl in that photo is a memory. All of the things I mentioned above about her appearance are mere symptoms of the real issue: that she is grappling with something that is slowly pulling her under. She is grappling with something bigger than her and bigger than the mom who would move heavan and earth to save her...if only that were within my power. And, yes, I looked at that photo and wondered if I knew then what I know now ... would I have done anything differently? And would it have mattered? I know the answer, but it doesn't make it easier right now. Dash [/QUOTE]
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Falling off the rational thinking wagon...
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