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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 226848" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I was thinking about this again this morning. It bothers me so much.</p><p></p><p>You know, we teach our day school kids not to do this amongst themselves. If you don't give a gift to everyone, you don't present a gift to anyone. The kids are allowed to give larger gifts to each other but if they don't have one for everyone, that gift is to be put into the backpack to take home. It is not to be given or opened in front of the other students. </p><p></p><p>I don't see it as the issue that the people did not give your girls the same. I understand that grandparents have a way of giving more to their own (we tend to do this with our own kids). It is an issue of how they presented the gifts. Kids can differentiate between relationships - they see how one person got more/better than them and though they know why, it still hurts. They wish they were the other person and not themselves. We don't ever want our children to wish they were someone else - that is the start of a very low self esteem. Makes them feel not good enough.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line, you never show favortism in a group of kids. Grandparents could have talked to boyfriend and said, "We would love to have you and Jen and her kids for Christmas Day. We do have to talk about how to make it work around the gifts. We do not want to hurt Jen's kids by having them present when the other kids open their gifts. Can you and our grandkids come Christmas Eve to open gifts? We will save one out for each kid to open when Jen is here." </p><p></p><p>It is easier for the kids to see and enjoy other kids' gifts once they are open - the opening is the hard part.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 226848, member: 5096"] I was thinking about this again this morning. It bothers me so much. You know, we teach our day school kids not to do this amongst themselves. If you don't give a gift to everyone, you don't present a gift to anyone. The kids are allowed to give larger gifts to each other but if they don't have one for everyone, that gift is to be put into the backpack to take home. It is not to be given or opened in front of the other students. I don't see it as the issue that the people did not give your girls the same. I understand that grandparents have a way of giving more to their own (we tend to do this with our own kids). It is an issue of how they presented the gifts. Kids can differentiate between relationships - they see how one person got more/better than them and though they know why, it still hurts. They wish they were the other person and not themselves. We don't ever want our children to wish they were someone else - that is the start of a very low self esteem. Makes them feel not good enough. Bottom line, you never show favortism in a group of kids. Grandparents could have talked to boyfriend and said, "We would love to have you and Jen and her kids for Christmas Day. We do have to talk about how to make it work around the gifts. We do not want to hurt Jen's kids by having them present when the other kids open their gifts. Can you and our grandkids come Christmas Eve to open gifts? We will save one out for each kid to open when Jen is here." It is easier for the kids to see and enjoy other kids' gifts once they are open - the opening is the hard part. [/QUOTE]
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