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Family of Origin issues / Parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 619084" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>I'm youngest of 3 siblings (7&9 years older) I feel my parents were good parents for the most part as far a good moral backbone but after what my siblings did didn't really know how to handle me so kind of threw me on auto pilot when I was 12yo. I was a nervous very high energy kid with tons of sensory issues, my brain was always going faster then the world around me. I always felt like wanted to jump out of my skin until I tried pot, it didn't get me high it calmed me. Even smoking pot every day I graduated with a 3.8 GPA, totally blew my SAT's (didn't know testing day) had dropped 2 hits of blotter acid to go into be faced with a #2 pencil and a bunch of circles... so I made a big mickey mouse out of the circles claimed later it was a protest about formalized testing... and they bought it</p><p></p><p>Mom put on the perfect show kept house, cooked dinner but when it came down to it was burnt out on parenting when I came along, I was the surprise baby that happened while Gma was dying of cancer. Famous last words "go out and play" but had to be sitting with clean face & hands across table from dad at 5pm for dinner (not 5:01 5:00!) Don't remember rocking in a chair, being read a book, cuddled etc. I was fed & cared for but didn't get shown love by her. emotionally starved</p><p></p><p>My sister got married at 17yo had 3 kids, 12 years into marriage husband gave her divorce papers and she signed them... he got the house, kids, she got her freedom moved back with parents for around 10 years. 2nd husband and I avoid each other it's nothing against either of us but 20 years ago his 18yo daughter drunk bipolar was laughing & flipping the bird at the train when it hit her. My 2 girls have bipolar it causes him pain to see my eyes looking at his eyes in pain and vice versus. Sister breast, bladder & lung cancer survivor.</p><p></p><p>Brother got married at 16yo (2 wks after wifes 16th birthday her 8 months pregnant at wedding) is on his 3rd wife I think he finally got it right this time. Funny thing is first wife introduced them they are friends!</p><p></p><p>I got pretty out of hand as a teenager smoking & drinking at 9yo, pot at 12yo by the time 14 had tried most all of what was out there at the time including PCP, cocaine & heroin. Moved back with my parents 20yo when pregnant with son (malnutrition threatening miscarriage)lived there until son was 18mo. Have a good relationship with them, neither can drive so I'm there a lot (one city over).</p><p></p><p>My mom had a car accident when she was 17yo (head on with Mac truck doing 50+) was literally scalped by windshield there had to have been front lobe damage, sister had Alzheimer's, she's cancer survivor ovarian (25yrs ago) and breast (5yrs ago) anyway mom is completely losing her mind and she is getting really mean. I'm about the only one in family who can handle talking to her (I just keep thinking back to teen years and know I had lots to do with why she lost it) </p><p></p><p>My dad I couldn't build a pedestal tall enough for him... (saint) I didn't think so when he caught me dealing drugs out of his house and jumped up and down on my triple beam & held me by my hair and made me watch him flush 1/4 Lb of weed and my 8 ball of coke down the toilet. Just an example of what a great dad he was he gave me $120 to pay the dealer for the weed he flushed then let me bust <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> working for my mom 12 times to work off the money. For $10 I got to clean top to bottom kitchen, living room, family room and 2 bathrooms (took about 6-7 hours)</p><p></p><p>My dad has helped me so much thru the years, when I ungrounded myself at 17yo he changed the locks put my stuff out on the porch, when I came back at 20yo pregnant he let me back in and banked half the rent I paid to him so I would have security deposit when we moved out. He was 50% tax bracket so the other 1/2 the rent went to uncle sam in taxes, yes he's that honest.</p><p></p><p>So that's pretty much my family dynamics but I think you all have figured out I'm chatty so got half my life story in there too. Thanks Cedar I'm enjoying this thread and seeing a little of where everyone is coming from.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 619084, member: 7170"] I'm youngest of 3 siblings (7&9 years older) I feel my parents were good parents for the most part as far a good moral backbone but after what my siblings did didn't really know how to handle me so kind of threw me on auto pilot when I was 12yo. I was a nervous very high energy kid with tons of sensory issues, my brain was always going faster then the world around me. I always felt like wanted to jump out of my skin until I tried pot, it didn't get me high it calmed me. Even smoking pot every day I graduated with a 3.8 GPA, totally blew my SAT's (didn't know testing day) had dropped 2 hits of blotter acid to go into be faced with a #2 pencil and a bunch of circles... so I made a big mickey mouse out of the circles claimed later it was a protest about formalized testing... and they bought it Mom put on the perfect show kept house, cooked dinner but when it came down to it was burnt out on parenting when I came along, I was the surprise baby that happened while Gma was dying of cancer. Famous last words "go out and play" but had to be sitting with clean face & hands across table from dad at 5pm for dinner (not 5:01 5:00!) Don't remember rocking in a chair, being read a book, cuddled etc. I was fed & cared for but didn't get shown love by her. emotionally starved My sister got married at 17yo had 3 kids, 12 years into marriage husband gave her divorce papers and she signed them... he got the house, kids, she got her freedom moved back with parents for around 10 years. 2nd husband and I avoid each other it's nothing against either of us but 20 years ago his 18yo daughter drunk bipolar was laughing & flipping the bird at the train when it hit her. My 2 girls have bipolar it causes him pain to see my eyes looking at his eyes in pain and vice versus. Sister breast, bladder & lung cancer survivor. Brother got married at 16yo (2 wks after wifes 16th birthday her 8 months pregnant at wedding) is on his 3rd wife I think he finally got it right this time. Funny thing is first wife introduced them they are friends! I got pretty out of hand as a teenager smoking & drinking at 9yo, pot at 12yo by the time 14 had tried most all of what was out there at the time including PCP, cocaine & heroin. Moved back with my parents 20yo when pregnant with son (malnutrition threatening miscarriage)lived there until son was 18mo. Have a good relationship with them, neither can drive so I'm there a lot (one city over). My mom had a car accident when she was 17yo (head on with Mac truck doing 50+) was literally scalped by windshield there had to have been front lobe damage, sister had Alzheimer's, she's cancer survivor ovarian (25yrs ago) and breast (5yrs ago) anyway mom is completely losing her mind and she is getting really mean. I'm about the only one in family who can handle talking to her (I just keep thinking back to teen years and know I had lots to do with why she lost it) My dad I couldn't build a pedestal tall enough for him... (saint) I didn't think so when he caught me dealing drugs out of his house and jumped up and down on my triple beam & held me by my hair and made me watch him flush 1/4 Lb of weed and my 8 ball of coke down the toilet. Just an example of what a great dad he was he gave me $120 to pay the dealer for the weed he flushed then let me bust :censored2: working for my mom 12 times to work off the money. For $10 I got to clean top to bottom kitchen, living room, family room and 2 bathrooms (took about 6-7 hours) My dad has helped me so much thru the years, when I ungrounded myself at 17yo he changed the locks put my stuff out on the porch, when I came back at 20yo pregnant he let me back in and banked half the rent I paid to him so I would have security deposit when we moved out. He was 50% tax bracket so the other 1/2 the rent went to uncle sam in taxes, yes he's that honest. So that's pretty much my family dynamics but I think you all have figured out I'm chatty so got half my life story in there too. Thanks Cedar I'm enjoying this thread and seeing a little of where everyone is coming from. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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