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Family Reunion From Hell
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 661353" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Some knew more than others but none of them know the whole story. Mom and dad come closest to knowing it while the sister just older than me went through issues with her two sons and drugs so comes closest to understanding it. She is the one who promised the ride then back out.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And I have NO problem whatsoever with them not wanting to give him a ride. It was the manner in which it was done. During the discussion at the reunion, the one sister was going to get his back pack this morning, take it to him, and give him a ride to the town he wanted to go to. She even went so far as to say that she would pick him up Friday and give him the ride to spend the girlfriends birthday where they planned. I understand people changing their minds and if she had called us a couple hour after we left and told us this, we would have adjusted our plans. She could have mentioned this when we talked to her after we had put him in the hotel we could have adjusted since we were only 20 minutes out. The way she did it made it seem like she waited until we got home to tell us specifically so we werent in the area to adjust. Basically trying to force us to detach, even though she has NO idea where we were at in the process.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, cant argue this one bit.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is something we've been trying to teach him for YEARS!! Have mentioned it before in several other threads.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Honestly, we arent sure. I can say that there hits a point in one of his episodes that he has no control which is what my parents experienced.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, my youngest sister. We advised against doing this but by the time they really asked our opinion, he was already there.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And this is my major issue. After the incident on Monday I talked to my mom and while a bit freaked she seemed ok. None of the sibs bothered to contact me and inform me that mom had downplayed how she felt because she still wanted to help our son, and that the situation was getting worse. Our son is very much of the attitude that after you've calmed down and apologized then its over. Again, we've tried to teach him that this isnt always true, especially for major issues. He just doesnt get it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>They are genuinely scared but apparently havent thought about why I've never considered asking mom and dad to let him stay there. I knew something like this would happen. Again, its not about what was done but how it was done. By the time we dropped him off it was over in his mind. Then my sister, the one he trusted most, backed out of the ride. She called us and told us as we were getting out of the car. She had called him before we had even got the stuff from the car in the house. I dont think it was intentional but the way she handled it pretty much guaranteed that our son wont trust my sibs for years if ever.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Preaching to the choir but its his mess to deal with. Just found out the girlfriend has only been living with dad for about 2 months. Had been living with mom but they couldnt get along. Yeah, fun times ahead.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I dont know if he knew what he was doing when he blew up on Monday. Yeah, in the car he wasn't terribly sorry about it but then again, doesnt feel that it was his fault. While I will acknowledge that mistakes were made on both sides, all he had to do was what they were saying. He knows that most jop applications are online and mom and dad are retired and havent job hunted in decades so they are used to the old way. Thing is, you cant explain this to them, you have to show them. After stopping at three or four places and telling them that they dont have applications, they are online, mom and dad would have figured it out. And as it's been previously said, their house, their rules. Another concept he doesnt seem to grasp.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Never said he was set up, said he was blind sided. I had warned my mom when she told me that she was going to let him stay in their house by himself that there was a VERY good chance that he would steal from them. Her response was that she understood and if he did that, then she could honestly say she had tried and it was on him. As far as being given more chances, maybe, maybe not. But the fact remains that no matter how many chances we give him, any time ANYTHING goes wrong its always someone elses fault.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 661353, member: 18238"] Some knew more than others but none of them know the whole story. Mom and dad come closest to knowing it while the sister just older than me went through issues with her two sons and drugs so comes closest to understanding it. She is the one who promised the ride then back out. And I have NO problem whatsoever with them not wanting to give him a ride. It was the manner in which it was done. During the discussion at the reunion, the one sister was going to get his back pack this morning, take it to him, and give him a ride to the town he wanted to go to. She even went so far as to say that she would pick him up Friday and give him the ride to spend the girlfriends birthday where they planned. I understand people changing their minds and if she had called us a couple hour after we left and told us this, we would have adjusted our plans. She could have mentioned this when we talked to her after we had put him in the hotel we could have adjusted since we were only 20 minutes out. The way she did it made it seem like she waited until we got home to tell us specifically so we werent in the area to adjust. Basically trying to force us to detach, even though she has NO idea where we were at in the process. Unfortunately, cant argue this one bit. This is something we've been trying to teach him for YEARS!! Have mentioned it before in several other threads. Honestly, we arent sure. I can say that there hits a point in one of his episodes that he has no control which is what my parents experienced. Yes, my youngest sister. We advised against doing this but by the time they really asked our opinion, he was already there. And this is my major issue. After the incident on Monday I talked to my mom and while a bit freaked she seemed ok. None of the sibs bothered to contact me and inform me that mom had downplayed how she felt because she still wanted to help our son, and that the situation was getting worse. Our son is very much of the attitude that after you've calmed down and apologized then its over. Again, we've tried to teach him that this isnt always true, especially for major issues. He just doesnt get it. They are genuinely scared but apparently havent thought about why I've never considered asking mom and dad to let him stay there. I knew something like this would happen. Again, its not about what was done but how it was done. By the time we dropped him off it was over in his mind. Then my sister, the one he trusted most, backed out of the ride. She called us and told us as we were getting out of the car. She had called him before we had even got the stuff from the car in the house. I dont think it was intentional but the way she handled it pretty much guaranteed that our son wont trust my sibs for years if ever. Preaching to the choir but its his mess to deal with. Just found out the girlfriend has only been living with dad for about 2 months. Had been living with mom but they couldnt get along. Yeah, fun times ahead. I dont know if he knew what he was doing when he blew up on Monday. Yeah, in the car he wasn't terribly sorry about it but then again, doesnt feel that it was his fault. While I will acknowledge that mistakes were made on both sides, all he had to do was what they were saying. He knows that most jop applications are online and mom and dad are retired and havent job hunted in decades so they are used to the old way. Thing is, you cant explain this to them, you have to show them. After stopping at three or four places and telling them that they dont have applications, they are online, mom and dad would have figured it out. And as it's been previously said, their house, their rules. Another concept he doesnt seem to grasp. Never said he was set up, said he was blind sided. I had warned my mom when she told me that she was going to let him stay in their house by himself that there was a VERY good chance that he would steal from them. Her response was that she understood and if he did that, then she could honestly say she had tried and it was on him. As far as being given more chances, maybe, maybe not. But the fact remains that no matter how many chances we give him, any time ANYTHING goes wrong its always someone elses fault. [/QUOTE]
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