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Family Reunion From Hell
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661391" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Lil, this whole family reunion ordeal has really touched a painful chord in me. I feel so hurt and I do not know you or Jabber really and not at all your son.</p><p></p><p>You know that I am not excusing your son's behavior. That this happened at all is on him. He must control himself and/or the get help and intervention to have the skills to do so.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure why this triggers me so. I think it is because on both sides of my family, I did not ever feel there was support for me as a child. And that meant there was certainly not support for my son and I together as I parented him alone as a single mother.</p><p></p><p>I identify with you. You try so hard to do the right thing. You and Jabber are such responsible and ethical people. The last thing you want is that your child inflict pain or discomfort onto others. You did not cause this.</p><p></p><p>Nor did lack of effective and conscientious parenting cause this. You and Jabber were truly innocents, caught in something where you had no part.</p><p>This is so painful. Of course, he had to go.</p><p></p><p>As his mother, why were you not involved in the conversation from the get go? Why was any part of this done covertly?</p><p>This was not UPS or FEDEX. This is your family. Where is a sense of responsibility here? These are the adults in the room. Everybody now is afraid to talk to him or be alone with him? Do they really feel that Jabber would have foisted somebody dangerous into their parents home?</p><p></p><p>My son struck M and gave him a black eye. He has called the cops on us multiple times to get us thrown into jail. And M is undocumented. And M wants my son to live with us. Why? Because he takes responsibility to solve problems. Like Jabber.</p><p>I agree.</p><p>I am hurt too, Lil.</p><p></p><p>Even though the original transgression was your son's.</p><p></p><p>All of this family stuff just suspended for a few days the theater with the girlfriend and her father. How unfortunate.</p><p></p><p>Try to stay out of it Lil. </p><p></p><p>I for one am going to buy Codependent No More and 3 workbooks on Dialectical Behavior Therapy to learn Radical Acceptance.</p><p></p><p>I need to change. This is all too much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661391, member: 18958"] Lil, this whole family reunion ordeal has really touched a painful chord in me. I feel so hurt and I do not know you or Jabber really and not at all your son. You know that I am not excusing your son's behavior. That this happened at all is on him. He must control himself and/or the get help and intervention to have the skills to do so. I am not sure why this triggers me so. I think it is because on both sides of my family, I did not ever feel there was support for me as a child. And that meant there was certainly not support for my son and I together as I parented him alone as a single mother. I identify with you. You try so hard to do the right thing. You and Jabber are such responsible and ethical people. The last thing you want is that your child inflict pain or discomfort onto others. You did not cause this. Nor did lack of effective and conscientious parenting cause this. You and Jabber were truly innocents, caught in something where you had no part. This is so painful. Of course, he had to go. As his mother, why were you not involved in the conversation from the get go? Why was any part of this done covertly? This was not UPS or FEDEX. This is your family. Where is a sense of responsibility here? These are the adults in the room. Everybody now is afraid to talk to him or be alone with him? Do they really feel that Jabber would have foisted somebody dangerous into their parents home? My son struck M and gave him a black eye. He has called the cops on us multiple times to get us thrown into jail. And M is undocumented. And M wants my son to live with us. Why? Because he takes responsibility to solve problems. Like Jabber. I agree. I am hurt too, Lil. Even though the original transgression was your son's. All of this family stuff just suspended for a few days the theater with the girlfriend and her father. How unfortunate. Try to stay out of it Lil. I for one am going to buy Codependent No More and 3 workbooks on Dialectical Behavior Therapy to learn Radical Acceptance. I need to change. This is all too much. [/QUOTE]
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