I think part of the issue here is the difficulty for mothers in the transition of their D C from child to adult.
A 12 year old may have a tantrum. A 20 year old terrorizes with the same behavior. We as mothers may see it as the same behavior. Others do not.
Because we are accustomed to the misbehaviors and tantrums of children, we see their behavior as young adults through the same lens. Others do not.
That is why our D C's need to go out in the world and experience the consequences of their behaviors...independent of us. Because it is in the real world that they have to live. Not with us.
It is painful to recognize how alone we are. That the real world of consequences is often our own family.
