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Substance Abuse
Feel like there is more than addiction
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743696" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Tired.</p><p></p><p>My take is the last thing our sons are going to feel in relation to us is abandoned. I think these guys know they are unconditionally loved. That is their problem. They don't want to let it go. Somehow in their minds, growing up means they have to give up mother love. They are right. Growing up and acting like a man, means that you do act from your own center not from that of their mother. I think that is why reassurance from us does not have a good effect. It keeps them hooked. Love is not about keeping attached. It is about love. We can love them as grown up men. Wouldn't that be great?</p><p></p><p>If you are worried about YOU FEELING LIKE YOU ARE ABANDONING HIM, that is a different thing all together. You could tell him. <em>I am pulling back, because that is what is good for you right now. Know that I love you with all my heart.</em> And pull back.</p><p></p><p>I think my hovering and breast beating only made things worse. I am not saying you do that. I do. But pulling back is not abandonment. My g-d they are men, not babies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743696, member: 18958"] Hi Tired. My take is the last thing our sons are going to feel in relation to us is abandoned. I think these guys know they are unconditionally loved. That is their problem. They don't want to let it go. Somehow in their minds, growing up means they have to give up mother love. They are right. Growing up and acting like a man, means that you do act from your own center not from that of their mother. I think that is why reassurance from us does not have a good effect. It keeps them hooked. Love is not about keeping attached. It is about love. We can love them as grown up men. Wouldn't that be great? If you are worried about YOU FEELING LIKE YOU ARE ABANDONING HIM, that is a different thing all together. You could tell him. [I]I am pulling back, because that is what is good for you right now. Know that I love you with all my heart.[/I] And pull back. I think my hovering and breast beating only made things worse. I am not saying you do that. I do. But pulling back is not abandonment. My g-d they are men, not babies. [/QUOTE]
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