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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 685266" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>YF, good for you. I believe you did the right thing <em>for your son </em>let alone for the family.</p><p></p><p>It was like this for me, too. I had reached my limit. I could not back down. I had backed up so much there was no further back to go without stepping on myself, indeed, stomping. My son beat on the windows all night. It was horrible. I still did not relent. That was 4 and a half years ago.</p><p></p><p>I felt better as soon as he left my house to go to a shelter. Distance helps. Actually, it got better quickly. </p><p></p><p>It took over 4 years for me to be able to tolerate him in my home because it took that long for him to change. During those 4 years I suffered but it was more like a deep freeze kind of suffering, not the white hot guilt and fear of the beginning. </p><p></p><p>Your son has a job and a car. My son had neither. And my son had a brain injury and a mental illness diagnosis (Wow, do I feel guilty even writing this. But it was the right thing to do, to kick him out.). Still he went right from my house to a friend of mine's hotel in an elegant coastal city where he stayed for free for 2 years!! That did not help.</p><p></p><p>They make their way <em>and their own life</em>. That is the point!! Why do we have guilt when it is time for them to stand on their feet? When you figure this out let me know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 685266, member: 18958"] YF, good for you. I believe you did the right thing [I]for your son [/I]let alone for the family. It was like this for me, too. I had reached my limit. I could not back down. I had backed up so much there was no further back to go without stepping on myself, indeed, stomping. My son beat on the windows all night. It was horrible. I still did not relent. That was 4 and a half years ago. I felt better as soon as he left my house to go to a shelter. Distance helps. Actually, it got better quickly. It took over 4 years for me to be able to tolerate him in my home because it took that long for him to change. During those 4 years I suffered but it was more like a deep freeze kind of suffering, not the white hot guilt and fear of the beginning. Your son has a job and a car. My son had neither. And my son had a brain injury and a mental illness diagnosis (Wow, do I feel guilty even writing this. But it was the right thing to do, to kick him out.). Still he went right from my house to a friend of mine's hotel in an elegant coastal city where he stayed for free for 2 years!! That did not help. They make their way [I]and their own life[/I]. That is the point!! Why do we have guilt when it is time for them to stand on their feet? When you figure this out let me know. [/QUOTE]
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