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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 738299" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>I am new to the forum and it has been helpful to read that I am not alone. </p><p>I have a 25 year old son who has severe ADD and has been diagnosis as bipolar although I'm not sure about this. He definitely has a conduct -personality disorder. To make a very long story short he ran away constantly as a teenage, has been locked up to many times to count, 2 times in prison. We thought this last couple of years that he was growing up some and paid for him to go to a trade school. He has never held a job for more than 6 weeks and this was also true after graduating. He is intelligent and can be charming so talks (I think sometimes lies) himself into getting a job. He constantly is asking for money because he can't keep a job or some crisis happens. I am likely to give him money so that he is not homeless ,although he has been numerous times. After he got out of prison I paid for an apartment ,food ,electric. He never paid. He married an older women (in her 40's) and told us later. She has <u>numerous</u> problems. He and she are now in jail for domestic battery. He wants me to bail him out AGAIN . I have told him no. He says he wants to go live with his birth mother but has no way to get there or money when he gets out.</p><p></p><p> Here is my continual dilemma. He is mentally ill and therefore his brain does not work the same as many people. Should I let him have the consequences of his actions if he has an illness? Is a mental illness so different than someone with Parkinson's or diabetes? Can he really control his thoughts? Sometimes I feel that I am turning my back on my sick child. I do not think that he should be able to do things against the law with no consequences hence the prison time. But I have a very hard time not giving him money when he loses a job, and has no place to live and nothing to eat. I am now retired and have some money but am not sure how long we (husband-father) will live so am worried about running out. Is saying he made his choices now he has to live with them a way out for my husband and I? I am definitely in a FOG-thoughts</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 738299, member: 23328"] I am new to the forum and it has been helpful to read that I am not alone. I have a 25 year old son who has severe ADD and has been diagnosis as bipolar although I'm not sure about this. He definitely has a conduct -personality disorder. To make a very long story short he ran away constantly as a teenage, has been locked up to many times to count, 2 times in prison. We thought this last couple of years that he was growing up some and paid for him to go to a trade school. He has never held a job for more than 6 weeks and this was also true after graduating. He is intelligent and can be charming so talks (I think sometimes lies) himself into getting a job. He constantly is asking for money because he can't keep a job or some crisis happens. I am likely to give him money so that he is not homeless ,although he has been numerous times. After he got out of prison I paid for an apartment ,food ,electric. He never paid. He married an older women (in her 40's) and told us later. She has [U]numerous[/U] problems. He and she are now in jail for domestic battery. He wants me to bail him out AGAIN . I have told him no. He says he wants to go live with his birth mother but has no way to get there or money when he gets out. Here is my continual dilemma. He is mentally ill and therefore his brain does not work the same as many people. Should I let him have the consequences of his actions if he has an illness? Is a mental illness so different than someone with Parkinson's or diabetes? Can he really control his thoughts? Sometimes I feel that I am turning my back on my sick child. I do not think that he should be able to do things against the law with no consequences hence the prison time. But I have a very hard time not giving him money when he loses a job, and has no place to live and nothing to eat. I am now retired and have some money but am not sure how long we (husband-father) will live so am worried about running out. Is saying he made his choices now he has to live with them a way out for my husband and I? I am definitely in a FOG-thoughts [/QUOTE]
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