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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 738338" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>Thank you all for your replies. I just got off the phone with him from jail and told him again that I am not going to bail him out. He says that he is there because of wife ( she's there too ) and he didn't do anything. He has never been violent in the past and she has been arrested numerous times for physically attacking people. I told him he made choices that got him in there- going back with her, going back to the house etc. It is just so very hard to know if now is the right time to say no. I go back and forth he needs his medication for a severe infection but they told me he will have to wait until next week to see the DR. It may spread even more by then but they said he will have to wait. I feel fine with him going to live with his birthmother but she too has no money (same issues he has with people). I do see my son trying but when things get hard or frustrating then he reverts to old ways. Yes he does know right from wrong and has consequences for doing illegal things. </p><p>ADD <strong>is</strong> a mental illness and is defined by <a href="http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness" target="_blank"><u>National Alliance on Mental Illness</u> <span style="color: #000000">and is classified as such in the DSM. There are gradations of the illness. I know many students that have it and can function perfectly fine with medication</span></a> .ADD is not some made up diagnosis it is a <strong>very</strong> real thing. Many with ADD have dual diagnosis as is the case with my son, he has had 4 psychiatrist say he is bipolar. ADD can be qualifying diagnosis for SSI . We struggled get him through school and only graduated from High school because he was in residential treatment and the school district didn't want to pay any longer. If you have lived with a child with ADD you know what a struggle it is for them especially when some teachers think that it is not a "real" thing and only see it as away for students to have "special" circumstances. They have now been able to see difference in the brains of people with ADD. </p><p>I am hoping that when he is in jail that he can really think what he needs to do differently and make a change. He did actually admit to me on the phone that he had lied about where some of the money I gave him was being spent. At least he is taking a little responsibility. Just pray that he will be able to improve some.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 738338, member: 23328"] Thank you all for your replies. I just got off the phone with him from jail and told him again that I am not going to bail him out. He says that he is there because of wife ( she's there too ) and he didn't do anything. He has never been violent in the past and she has been arrested numerous times for physically attacking people. I told him he made choices that got him in there- going back with her, going back to the house etc. It is just so very hard to know if now is the right time to say no. I go back and forth he needs his medication for a severe infection but they told me he will have to wait until next week to see the DR. It may spread even more by then but they said he will have to wait. I feel fine with him going to live with his birthmother but she too has no money (same issues he has with people). I do see my son trying but when things get hard or frustrating then he reverts to old ways. Yes he does know right from wrong and has consequences for doing illegal things. ADD [B]is[/B] a mental illness and is defined by [URL='http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness'][U]National Alliance on Mental Illness[/U] [COLOR=#000000]and is classified as such in the DSM. There are gradations of the illness. I know many students that have it and can function perfectly fine with medication[/COLOR][/URL] .ADD is not some made up diagnosis it is a [B]very[/B] real thing. Many with ADD have dual diagnosis as is the case with my son, he has had 4 psychiatrist say he is bipolar. ADD can be qualifying diagnosis for SSI . We struggled get him through school and only graduated from High school because he was in residential treatment and the school district didn't want to pay any longer. If you have lived with a child with ADD you know what a struggle it is for them especially when some teachers think that it is not a "real" thing and only see it as away for students to have "special" circumstances. They have now been able to see difference in the brains of people with ADD. I am hoping that when he is in jail that he can really think what he needs to do differently and make a change. He did actually admit to me on the phone that he had lied about where some of the money I gave him was being spent. At least he is taking a little responsibility. Just pray that he will be able to improve some. [/QUOTE]
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