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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 738987" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>I just got off the phone with my son from jail. I made a suggestion of what he might say to the prosecutor when he goes to court. He wants to argue with me that it won't go that way to which I respond whatever. He tells me I could call the prosecutor and see if they might make a deal because he won't be able to talk with him from court- he won't get an attorney until the next hearing. I told him I was not going to call the attorney. He then tells me, getting angry that he can't call them because he is in jail. I said yes but this is not my responsibility to which he replies that he didn't do what they are saying, and he shouldn't be there. I told him he made choices that ended up getting him there to which he starts yelling at me, saying” what am I saying that I believe he did it?” I should have never said anything to him about the case and let it go where it may. I am sure that I brought a good part of this on myself by even saying anything. I too must break some bad habits number one is me bailing him out and getting involved when he screws up. He claims he didn't screw up, so I guess it's he is implying that is why I should help him. Also, he says I do not have anyone else to call. Also, not my problem but didn't say that to him because he would really go off. He said that he needed to end the call, implying he is so upset that he couldn't talk to me anymore. Really, I made this dependent monster and now I want to stop, and he is going off the deep end. Guess I shouldn't be surprised when you finally have to take all the burden yourself it is really scary. In the heat of the conversation I just don't know how to say to him that I am not going to do things for him without getting into an argument with him and not having him go off the rails. I hate the confrontation. His attitude is he has no one but me and I am his mother, so I should do for him. Wrong assumption.</p><p></p><p>I also just spoke with his birth mother who he thought he could go live with and she is now vacillating. I know that all this is going to blow up, he is not going to have a place to live. Ask to live with us then we say no and s--t will hit the fan. The anticipation of this all really stresses me out. And of course, this is when we will be on vacation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 738987, member: 23328"] I just got off the phone with my son from jail. I made a suggestion of what he might say to the prosecutor when he goes to court. He wants to argue with me that it won't go that way to which I respond whatever. He tells me I could call the prosecutor and see if they might make a deal because he won't be able to talk with him from court- he won't get an attorney until the next hearing. I told him I was not going to call the attorney. He then tells me, getting angry that he can't call them because he is in jail. I said yes but this is not my responsibility to which he replies that he didn't do what they are saying, and he shouldn't be there. I told him he made choices that ended up getting him there to which he starts yelling at me, saying” what am I saying that I believe he did it?” I should have never said anything to him about the case and let it go where it may. I am sure that I brought a good part of this on myself by even saying anything. I too must break some bad habits number one is me bailing him out and getting involved when he screws up. He claims he didn't screw up, so I guess it's he is implying that is why I should help him. Also, he says I do not have anyone else to call. Also, not my problem but didn't say that to him because he would really go off. He said that he needed to end the call, implying he is so upset that he couldn't talk to me anymore. Really, I made this dependent monster and now I want to stop, and he is going off the deep end. Guess I shouldn't be surprised when you finally have to take all the burden yourself it is really scary. In the heat of the conversation I just don't know how to say to him that I am not going to do things for him without getting into an argument with him and not having him go off the rails. I hate the confrontation. His attitude is he has no one but me and I am his mother, so I should do for him. Wrong assumption. I also just spoke with his birth mother who he thought he could go live with and she is now vacillating. I know that all this is going to blow up, he is not going to have a place to live. Ask to live with us then we say no and s--t will hit the fan. The anticipation of this all really stresses me out. And of course, this is when we will be on vacation. [/QUOTE]
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