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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 747510" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>Copa, Thanks so much for rereading this thread. I too went back and reread what I wrote and what the other replies were. I didn't take what you had said before as harsh just realized you have to do what you can do at the time. It seems so much has happened since I first wrote the original post but also how much things have said the same. My son is divorced from his wife, which I helped finance. I really thought she was such a bad influence on him PLUS didn't like her having legal ties to him and by extension us. He has lost at least 5- 6 more jobs and got put in jail once . He is out but has a court date in a far away state for a drug possession. Like I said- still the same although this is the first drug charge.</p><p> I have been getting better at not asking questions as once I know details I worry and obsess. So I just stopped asking. He is currently homeless and suppose to start another job soon. I don't know where he is living and didn't ask. I do send him a little money once in a while .</p><p> Thanks for all your suggestions. I did read about job corps but from what I read I don't think they would take him with his criminal record. I would love for him to apply for SSI but he won't do it at this point. I can't even get him to go to the dentist for a cleaning before he turns 26 and he has no insurance. Plus every time he gets a job he says he is going to keep it. Won't admit he has a problem. He did admit he was using after his drug bust but again swears he is not using now. Therefore would not consent to a sober living. When he got busted I asked him if he would like to go to rehab but he declined. Now says the reason he has lost all the jobs is because of sleep apnea ?? I just have this feeling he is going to end up in jail/prison again soon. He is just not ready to receive help and I can't do anything about it.</p><p> This is what I pray for him but it has been 12 years and not a lot of improvement. I also pray for this for myself . I do think I have gotten better about not picking up the phone, not asking question and jumping in all the time to recuse him. I still do it but I have gotten more selective. It is funny but I do better when I am angry with him. It gives me the courage to say no and not care about how he will react. </p><p> I am do hope that things continue to improve with your son. I think that we have to look at the over all picture as they are bound to back slide we can just hope that it is not all the way back down and there is some forward projection.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 747510, member: 23328"] Copa, Thanks so much for rereading this thread. I too went back and reread what I wrote and what the other replies were. I didn't take what you had said before as harsh just realized you have to do what you can do at the time. It seems so much has happened since I first wrote the original post but also how much things have said the same. My son is divorced from his wife, which I helped finance. I really thought she was such a bad influence on him PLUS didn't like her having legal ties to him and by extension us. He has lost at least 5- 6 more jobs and got put in jail once . He is out but has a court date in a far away state for a drug possession. Like I said- still the same although this is the first drug charge. I have been getting better at not asking questions as once I know details I worry and obsess. So I just stopped asking. He is currently homeless and suppose to start another job soon. I don't know where he is living and didn't ask. I do send him a little money once in a while . Thanks for all your suggestions. I did read about job corps but from what I read I don't think they would take him with his criminal record. I would love for him to apply for SSI but he won't do it at this point. I can't even get him to go to the dentist for a cleaning before he turns 26 and he has no insurance. Plus every time he gets a job he says he is going to keep it. Won't admit he has a problem. He did admit he was using after his drug bust but again swears he is not using now. Therefore would not consent to a sober living. When he got busted I asked him if he would like to go to rehab but he declined. Now says the reason he has lost all the jobs is because of sleep apnea ?? I just have this feeling he is going to end up in jail/prison again soon. He is just not ready to receive help and I can't do anything about it. This is what I pray for him but it has been 12 years and not a lot of improvement. I also pray for this for myself . I do think I have gotten better about not picking up the phone, not asking question and jumping in all the time to recuse him. I still do it but I have gotten more selective. It is funny but I do better when I am angry with him. It gives me the courage to say no and not care about how he will react. I am do hope that things continue to improve with your son. I think that we have to look at the over all picture as they are bound to back slide we can just hope that it is not all the way back down and there is some forward projection. [/QUOTE]
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