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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 755530" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Yes, I agree, family isn't what it once was. Families used to pull together and help one another. Now it seems that they are pulled apart and often far away from each other. My husband and I have lived away from family for almost 30 years and we regret it. This spring, we are returning to our home, and I am looking forward to it very much. </p><p></p><p>I do try to frame this move of our younger son in a positive light---he is "spreading his wings" and I am grateful that he is confident enough to do that. I would not want him to feel stymied and in a rut in his life. That would break my heart. He has said that he is open to moving back to where we will be, in a couple of years, so we will see. I hope that he will realize how important family is and not make the same mistake we did. </p><p></p><p>To those of you who asked about hobbies and suggested focusing on building my own life--I totally agree. Actually, I do have quite a few hobbies that I enjoy--exercising, teaching fitness classes, reading, decorating, and cooking, just to name a few! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> And it does help to have those things. </p><p></p><p></p><p>It's funny you mentioned this JMom, because I have done exactly this a few times. It's kind of like throwing a "love bomb" and then ducking out of the way of the "hate bomb" you know will follow! Right now, he has gone completely silent, which is good for us, but I find myself worrying at times if he's okay. My husband and I joke sometimes, when he is verbally ranting, "Well, at least we know he's alive and not in jail." Dark humor, I guess, but sometimes you have to laugh. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you New Leaf, sometimes I feel like I've made some progress, but it's often "one step forward, two steps back" as I'm sure you know. </p><p></p><p>MissLulu, I actually have this book! I found it to be helpful in that it was comforting to know that we aren't the only ones dealing with dysfunctional, often selfish, adult children. It seems to be a very common occurrence nowadays and there's a lot of parents out there, grieving and feeling like "what happened to the sweet boy/girl we once had?" I would like to hear your opinion once you've read the book. I'm so glad you've found this site. </p><p></p><p>Thank you all for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today. We will be riding over to see our youngest in a couple of weeks, just to see him before he goes, and I know there will be some hard moments, but I will try to keep the right perspective on it. If I have to, I will save money here and there until I have enough to either fly him home or us fly there!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 755530, member: 22597"] Yes, I agree, family isn't what it once was. Families used to pull together and help one another. Now it seems that they are pulled apart and often far away from each other. My husband and I have lived away from family for almost 30 years and we regret it. This spring, we are returning to our home, and I am looking forward to it very much. I do try to frame this move of our younger son in a positive light---he is "spreading his wings" and I am grateful that he is confident enough to do that. I would not want him to feel stymied and in a rut in his life. That would break my heart. He has said that he is open to moving back to where we will be, in a couple of years, so we will see. I hope that he will realize how important family is and not make the same mistake we did. To those of you who asked about hobbies and suggested focusing on building my own life--I totally agree. Actually, I do have quite a few hobbies that I enjoy--exercising, teaching fitness classes, reading, decorating, and cooking, just to name a few! :) And it does help to have those things. It's funny you mentioned this JMom, because I have done exactly this a few times. It's kind of like throwing a "love bomb" and then ducking out of the way of the "hate bomb" you know will follow! Right now, he has gone completely silent, which is good for us, but I find myself worrying at times if he's okay. My husband and I joke sometimes, when he is verbally ranting, "Well, at least we know he's alive and not in jail." Dark humor, I guess, but sometimes you have to laugh. Thank you New Leaf, sometimes I feel like I've made some progress, but it's often "one step forward, two steps back" as I'm sure you know. MissLulu, I actually have this book! I found it to be helpful in that it was comforting to know that we aren't the only ones dealing with dysfunctional, often selfish, adult children. It seems to be a very common occurrence nowadays and there's a lot of parents out there, grieving and feeling like "what happened to the sweet boy/girl we once had?" I would like to hear your opinion once you've read the book. I'm so glad you've found this site. Thank you all for your kind words. I'm feeling a little better today. We will be riding over to see our youngest in a couple of weeks, just to see him before he goes, and I know there will be some hard moments, but I will try to keep the right perspective on it. If I have to, I will save money here and there until I have enough to either fly him home or us fly there!! [/QUOTE]
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