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General Parenting
Feeling non- mommylike today
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752179" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi there and I am sorry about your difficulties. I do have a few questions to help us help you. </p><p></p><p>Was your sons birthmother taking drugs or drinking while pregnant? Was he abused? How old was he when you adopted him? Older adoptees usually have some attachment disorder issues and this is serious. So are substances to a developing fetus.</p><p></p><p>I adopted a child and she has problems possibly due to genetics and possible alcohol abuse by the birthmother. I wish she could be better behaved but I don't think she can be. I would never ever tell her not to call me Mom. Sometimes she calls me by my first name to be mean and it hurts.</p><p></p><p>I can not tell you what to do. But with his autism diagnosis and possible attachment problems I would feel more kindly toward him, especially if he suffered abuse or his birthmother drank or did drugs while pregnant.</p><p></p><p>If your son is a danger to anyone, my choice would be to try to place him in residential treatment. It is illegal in most states to give up your parental rights but that would get him out of your home. If you feel poorly about him perhaps it is best if he live elsewhere and gets treatment at the same time.</p><p></p><p>Foster care is another option. Either way you will probably have to pay something. The schools are supposed to help pay. I got a lawyer and we received some financial help for a specialized teen boarding school. We were active in trying to help that school with my daughter. Not saying you would not be. In the end, she is 33 and not better. Everyone is different though.</p><p></p><p>If God is in your life, I recommend you pray about your options. If not write down the pros and cons of each choice.Also I would talk to a lawyer firs. If he IS violent, that puts your younger child and you in danger.</p><p></p><p>Sounds very difficult and I feel for you. </p><p></p><p>Be well and God bless. I do not judge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752179, member: 23706"] Hi there and I am sorry about your difficulties. I do have a few questions to help us help you. Was your sons birthmother taking drugs or drinking while pregnant? Was he abused? How old was he when you adopted him? Older adoptees usually have some attachment disorder issues and this is serious. So are substances to a developing fetus. I adopted a child and she has problems possibly due to genetics and possible alcohol abuse by the birthmother. I wish she could be better behaved but I don't think she can be. I would never ever tell her not to call me Mom. Sometimes she calls me by my first name to be mean and it hurts. I can not tell you what to do. But with his autism diagnosis and possible attachment problems I would feel more kindly toward him, especially if he suffered abuse or his birthmother drank or did drugs while pregnant. If your son is a danger to anyone, my choice would be to try to place him in residential treatment. It is illegal in most states to give up your parental rights but that would get him out of your home. If you feel poorly about him perhaps it is best if he live elsewhere and gets treatment at the same time. Foster care is another option. Either way you will probably have to pay something. The schools are supposed to help pay. I got a lawyer and we received some financial help for a specialized teen boarding school. We were active in trying to help that school with my daughter. Not saying you would not be. In the end, she is 33 and not better. Everyone is different though. If God is in your life, I recommend you pray about your options. If not write down the pros and cons of each choice.Also I would talk to a lawyer firs. If he IS violent, that puts your younger child and you in danger. Sounds very difficult and I feel for you. Be well and God bless. I do not judge. [/QUOTE]
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