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Feeling sad and anxious today
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 749102" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Copa--thank you for the invitation to share this burden. I do come to the site fairly regularly but I don't always post. I guess I "lurk behind the scenes" <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> . Honestly, I don't feel like I have enough wisdom or experience to share with others, but I always go away with some. </p><p>I am feeling somewhat better today. My husband and I went out for dinner and ice cream last night, and it was good to just enjoy one another. He had already processed some of his own feelings and was doing okay, saying he "was over it" by yesterday morning. I wake up usually three or four times each night (mid-life sleeping pattern I guess), and I never fail to think of Josh and to pray for him. Knowing he was possibly on the street during the night was troubling, but I made myself push those thoughts and mental images away. I can't dwell on that stuff; it's too hard and painful to contemplate. Today I have moments of peace here and there. I know that we have done EVERYTHING we can to help him and there's just nothing else to do but to keep praying and trusting that God is big enough to do what needs to be done. I've told God--"Do whatever you have to do in his life to bring him to Yourself and to bring healing to him." </p><p>In the meantime, I will also try to focus on keeping healthy boundaries by not allowing myself to dwell on "those thoughts," the ones all of us here are tempted to indulge in regarding our troubled kids. I have blocked his number for a time. It's amazing how much calmer you feel when you know you're phone isn't going to ring or buzz with a text message from your child. You can actually relax and think about other things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 749102, member: 22597"] Copa--thank you for the invitation to share this burden. I do come to the site fairly regularly but I don't always post. I guess I "lurk behind the scenes" :) . Honestly, I don't feel like I have enough wisdom or experience to share with others, but I always go away with some. I am feeling somewhat better today. My husband and I went out for dinner and ice cream last night, and it was good to just enjoy one another. He had already processed some of his own feelings and was doing okay, saying he "was over it" by yesterday morning. I wake up usually three or four times each night (mid-life sleeping pattern I guess), and I never fail to think of Josh and to pray for him. Knowing he was possibly on the street during the night was troubling, but I made myself push those thoughts and mental images away. I can't dwell on that stuff; it's too hard and painful to contemplate. Today I have moments of peace here and there. I know that we have done EVERYTHING we can to help him and there's just nothing else to do but to keep praying and trusting that God is big enough to do what needs to be done. I've told God--"Do whatever you have to do in his life to bring him to Yourself and to bring healing to him." In the meantime, I will also try to focus on keeping healthy boundaries by not allowing myself to dwell on "those thoughts," the ones all of us here are tempted to indulge in regarding our troubled kids. I have blocked his number for a time. It's amazing how much calmer you feel when you know you're phone isn't going to ring or buzz with a text message from your child. You can actually relax and think about other things. [/QUOTE]
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