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Feeling sad and discouraged
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 757218" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Beta, I am so very sorry. I remember all Josh has done. My Difficult Child has done the same, abused the same. She is now pregnant and 41. She has stopped drinking, we are able to talk without me saying something to trigger her, the reason I had to set boundaries and stick to them, but I understand that could change. I am choosing not to dwell on it and just enjoy the conversation that is somewhat normal. If you asked me a year ago about all of this, I would never in 10 million years predict this. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad not to be in your place right now, the trigger. I get it. I was having nightmares about my Difficult Child drawing me in, loving me then starting into one of her vulgar attacks.</p><p></p><p>I chose this quote from your post because I have learned this...what we do or say will never be good enough when the benchmark is a change we want to see in them. That is irrational. The only person we can change is us.</p><p></p><p>From what you say, you have learned this. It's the application, the acceptance we cannot do for them that's a hurtle. I can only tell you, that it wasnt until I stuck to the boundaries I needed for self preservation that I felt more prepared for future adversity.</p><p></p><p>My best friend used to have a plaque in her kitchen that said,</p><p></p><p>"You can resign as master of the universe. That's my job." God</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 757218, member: 23811"] Beta, I am so very sorry. I remember all Josh has done. My Difficult Child has done the same, abused the same. She is now pregnant and 41. She has stopped drinking, we are able to talk without me saying something to trigger her, the reason I had to set boundaries and stick to them, but I understand that could change. I am choosing not to dwell on it and just enjoy the conversation that is somewhat normal. If you asked me a year ago about all of this, I would never in 10 million years predict this. I am so glad not to be in your place right now, the trigger. I get it. I was having nightmares about my Difficult Child drawing me in, loving me then starting into one of her vulgar attacks. I chose this quote from your post because I have learned this...what we do or say will never be good enough when the benchmark is a change we want to see in them. That is irrational. The only person we can change is us. From what you say, you have learned this. It's the application, the acceptance we cannot do for them that's a hurtle. I can only tell you, that it wasnt until I stuck to the boundaries I needed for self preservation that I felt more prepared for future adversity. My best friend used to have a plaque in her kitchen that said, "You can resign as master of the universe. That's my job." God Thinking of you. [/QUOTE]
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