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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 665555" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Even if I changed the restraining order, how could I ever let him know of the changes? He just has the original order that says no contact, including calling. I do not even know that he knows that the judge ordered 5 years when I went back to court for the official order. He might not know that it ever stops.</p><p></p><p>The first day I drove to the courthouse to start the process. The next day I followed the oral directions and filled out the form. The following day, when I went back to court to go before the judge to receive my temporary restraining order, a family law assistant told me that sometimes you can ask to be allowed to see someone in a mental health hospital. But, I was told upstairs in the domestic violence department that it was too late to change it because the judge had already read it. I do not think that they usually want you to have calls because you might be threatened.</p><p></p><p>I hope that you are right and that he, on some level, realizes why I had to file an order and that I love him. I truly think that is why he stopped and said that he was just joking when he held the broken bottle towards me. He maybe realized what he was doing and that he didn't want to hurt me.</p><p></p><p>He lacks insight into his illness. With medication and therapy, he could gain insight and have better control over his delusions and voices. He could also think clearer and perhaps work part time or become better socially. I have hoped for this for years.</p><p></p><p>The bad thing is that the medications can have side effects, so people go off them. Also, lacking insight into their illness, they can stop taking them. Or, they start to feel better, and then feel that they do not need them. Sometimes they are embarrassed.</p><p></p><p>They also can think that the doctors are part of a plot to harm them. They feel that something bad will happen to them if they see a doctor. I feel that my son felt that way.</p><p></p><p>Paranoid schizophrenics have the greatest chance of improvement with medication and being able to resume work and activities. The prognosis, I have read, is best if it is caught early. I feel sad that my son's illness wasn't. I tried for 9 years. I feel very guilty for everything. </p><p></p><p>I, like many families, was afraid of his outbursts and hoped that he would get better. It is a very difficult decision to call the police. </p><p></p><p>I was told that because my life was being threatened from age 11, that I was feeling helpless in this situation. I was trained to be the victim. The thing that finally reached my core being was the command hallucination ordering him to kill me. All of the other insidences I had numbed out. But, that brought back sheer and immediate terror to me from my childhood with my sister. I listened 3 times, in disbelief of what I was hearing, and then I ran out of the house.</p><p></p><p>I now know that I should have left the house and called the police when loaded tables were thrown across the room or kitchen cabinets were stabbed. The police need to see evidence. It creates a paper trail for involuntary commitment. But, one has to be very careful and safe. You do not want to be hurt. </p><p></p><p>I have read that the best way to prevent violence is to not let it escalate over the years. Police need to be called, when outside safely. Firm boundaries for behavior need to be set up. But, that is much easier said that done. Also, if they have not been diagnosed and/or consented to allow parents to know their medical history as an adult, you have no doctors or case managers to call for help for back-up.</p><p></p><p>I was in contact with the mobile crisis unit. I called them several times the next day after violence had occurred. They said that they could not come and help without the police because he was dangerous. </p><p>I wish that I had called them safely right when violence happened. They would have come with the police. </p><p></p><p>I asked that night for crisis intervention trained officers, but I was told that I would get whomever was closest. I was told that sometimes the police call the mobile crisis unit and sometimes they don't.</p><p></p><p>I guess that I was afraid of my son's repeated threats of killing me if I ever called the poluce. I felt trapped. The one time earlier in 2013 when I called because he was threatening to cut up my face, the police just said out front for me to get an eviction and then they will come back out to serve it. Again....no visual evidence. </p><p></p><p>Sadly, love is not enough to help someone with paranoid schizophrenia. That is true with others conditions as well... that is what is breaking our mother hearts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 665555, member: 19245"] Even if I changed the restraining order, how could I ever let him know of the changes? He just has the original order that says no contact, including calling. I do not even know that he knows that the judge ordered 5 years when I went back to court for the official order. He might not know that it ever stops. The first day I drove to the courthouse to start the process. The next day I followed the oral directions and filled out the form. The following day, when I went back to court to go before the judge to receive my temporary restraining order, a family law assistant told me that sometimes you can ask to be allowed to see someone in a mental health hospital. But, I was told upstairs in the domestic violence department that it was too late to change it because the judge had already read it. I do not think that they usually want you to have calls because you might be threatened. I hope that you are right and that he, on some level, realizes why I had to file an order and that I love him. I truly think that is why he stopped and said that he was just joking when he held the broken bottle towards me. He maybe realized what he was doing and that he didn't want to hurt me. He lacks insight into his illness. With medication and therapy, he could gain insight and have better control over his delusions and voices. He could also think clearer and perhaps work part time or become better socially. I have hoped for this for years. The bad thing is that the medications can have side effects, so people go off them. Also, lacking insight into their illness, they can stop taking them. Or, they start to feel better, and then feel that they do not need them. Sometimes they are embarrassed. They also can think that the doctors are part of a plot to harm them. They feel that something bad will happen to them if they see a doctor. I feel that my son felt that way. Paranoid schizophrenics have the greatest chance of improvement with medication and being able to resume work and activities. The prognosis, I have read, is best if it is caught early. I feel sad that my son's illness wasn't. I tried for 9 years. I feel very guilty for everything. I, like many families, was afraid of his outbursts and hoped that he would get better. It is a very difficult decision to call the police. I was told that because my life was being threatened from age 11, that I was feeling helpless in this situation. I was trained to be the victim. The thing that finally reached my core being was the command hallucination ordering him to kill me. All of the other insidences I had numbed out. But, that brought back sheer and immediate terror to me from my childhood with my sister. I listened 3 times, in disbelief of what I was hearing, and then I ran out of the house. I now know that I should have left the house and called the police when loaded tables were thrown across the room or kitchen cabinets were stabbed. The police need to see evidence. It creates a paper trail for involuntary commitment. But, one has to be very careful and safe. You do not want to be hurt. I have read that the best way to prevent violence is to not let it escalate over the years. Police need to be called, when outside safely. Firm boundaries for behavior need to be set up. But, that is much easier said that done. Also, if they have not been diagnosed and/or consented to allow parents to know their medical history as an adult, you have no doctors or case managers to call for help for back-up. I was in contact with the mobile crisis unit. I called them several times the next day after violence had occurred. They said that they could not come and help without the police because he was dangerous. I wish that I had called them safely right when violence happened. They would have come with the police. I asked that night for crisis intervention trained officers, but I was told that I would get whomever was closest. I was told that sometimes the police call the mobile crisis unit and sometimes they don't. I guess that I was afraid of my son's repeated threats of killing me if I ever called the poluce. I felt trapped. The one time earlier in 2013 when I called because he was threatening to cut up my face, the police just said out front for me to get an eviction and then they will come back out to serve it. Again....no visual evidence. Sadly, love is not enough to help someone with paranoid schizophrenia. That is true with others conditions as well... that is what is breaking our mother hearts. [/QUOTE]
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