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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 665852" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>FS, I agree with Copa, you're looking at all your options and trying to figure out a very, very challenging situation. I think you're doing a good job of it too. None of this is easy.</p><p></p><p>I could relate on so many levels, having mental illness in ones family certainly offers many different lessons in letting go....... With two of my siblings being diagnosed with mental illness (I already mentioned my brother is a paranoid schizophrenic) I did feel as your two other sons feel, 'give him whatever he needs'. As I got older and had more counseling, I could understand there had to be boundaries, but wow, how do you figure all of that out? I just wanted my brother to be safe and off the streets.</p><p></p><p>I think if it were me FS, the car would be a way I would be able to sleep. I agree with your therapist, there are no books on a right way to go. We each have to figure out what we can live with and what we can't, what we're willing to do and what we aren't. It's a hard road.</p><p></p><p>A couple of years ago my daughter was living in her car for a short span of time. One time when I was away in Hawaii on vacation with my granddaughter (my troubled daughter's daughter) and my husband, right before I left town, I hid an envelope on our back patio with some cash in it, enough for some food and if need be, a room in a motel. It was winter time. I was very distressed about leaving. Hiding that money gave me permission to leave. Half way through the vacation I received an email from her saying she had no where to go. I can still feel how that felt in that moment. She is my only child. I emailed her back telling her where the envelope was. She hightailed it to my place, got the money and checked in to a motel. She told me later it was exactly the amount of money she needed. Then she resumed her life.</p><p></p><p>Fortunately, she is now in a safe place. But down the road, I could face it all again, I never know how it will be. I had to learn how to live in the moment, how to be present right now and not go into the past or the future. Learning that helped me immeasurably.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we have to do what we have to do so we can breathe, sleep, eat, function. Hang in there FS, you will get through this.....one step, one choice, one day, one moment at a time.........we're here for you......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 665852, member: 13542"] FS, I agree with Copa, you're looking at all your options and trying to figure out a very, very challenging situation. I think you're doing a good job of it too. None of this is easy. I could relate on so many levels, having mental illness in ones family certainly offers many different lessons in letting go....... With two of my siblings being diagnosed with mental illness (I already mentioned my brother is a paranoid schizophrenic) I did feel as your two other sons feel, 'give him whatever he needs'. As I got older and had more counseling, I could understand there had to be boundaries, but wow, how do you figure all of that out? I just wanted my brother to be safe and off the streets. I think if it were me FS, the car would be a way I would be able to sleep. I agree with your therapist, there are no books on a right way to go. We each have to figure out what we can live with and what we can't, what we're willing to do and what we aren't. It's a hard road. A couple of years ago my daughter was living in her car for a short span of time. One time when I was away in Hawaii on vacation with my granddaughter (my troubled daughter's daughter) and my husband, right before I left town, I hid an envelope on our back patio with some cash in it, enough for some food and if need be, a room in a motel. It was winter time. I was very distressed about leaving. Hiding that money gave me permission to leave. Half way through the vacation I received an email from her saying she had no where to go. I can still feel how that felt in that moment. She is my only child. I emailed her back telling her where the envelope was. She hightailed it to my place, got the money and checked in to a motel. She told me later it was exactly the amount of money she needed. Then she resumed her life. Fortunately, she is now in a safe place. But down the road, I could face it all again, I never know how it will be. I had to learn how to live in the moment, how to be present right now and not go into the past or the future. Learning that helped me immeasurably. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do so we can breathe, sleep, eat, function. Hang in there FS, you will get through this.....one step, one choice, one day, one moment at a time.........we're here for you...... [/QUOTE]
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