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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 668272" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so very sorry FS, you are right, none of this is fair, not for your son and <em>not for you either</em>. We have no control over what is fair.......all we can do is to learn to live with what we've been given........... After we rail against the unfairness, after we feel what feels like the unending pain of it all. I know how you feel. I have all that mental illness in my family too. Life has not been fair.</p><p></p><p>All of this is true.</p><p></p><p>However, with the help of many therapists, I began seeing that my own relentless thinking about the sorrowful events, the unfairness, the horrors of mental illness certainly kept me in a place of despair........but it also didn't change anything either, it didn't help my daughter, it ruined lots of my days, it kept me from living any kind of a full life. As I talked about all of it in therapy and in my parenting group, the therapists would stop me mid sentence, they interrupted the relentless stream of fear thoughts repeatedly, until I learned to do that myself. We scare ourselves with our own thinking. And the thinking then creates the feelings. Not to say the situation isn't filled with sorrow, but our continual thoughts of what we could have done, what might happen, what should have happened, doesn't change anything.</p><p></p><p>You aren't complaining FS, you are addressing your feelings and your thoughts. Putting them down like you are helps to see what those thoughts are. Observe those thoughts and practice not allowing them to take over. Recognize that you have the power to change your responses. You have the power to stay in the present moment, where nothing negative has happened, and breathe deeply and let go of that thinking, just for this moment.......and then the next moment...........and the next. Until in between all the sorrow and despair, you've created moments of peace. We need those moments of peace to carry on with the heavy burdens that have been placed on our shoulders.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there FS. It's a lot to wade through, but you're doing it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 668272, member: 13542"] I am so very sorry FS, you are right, none of this is fair, not for your son and [I]not for you either[/I]. We have no control over what is fair.......all we can do is to learn to live with what we've been given........... After we rail against the unfairness, after we feel what feels like the unending pain of it all. I know how you feel. I have all that mental illness in my family too. Life has not been fair. All of this is true. However, with the help of many therapists, I began seeing that my own relentless thinking about the sorrowful events, the unfairness, the horrors of mental illness certainly kept me in a place of despair........but it also didn't change anything either, it didn't help my daughter, it ruined lots of my days, it kept me from living any kind of a full life. As I talked about all of it in therapy and in my parenting group, the therapists would stop me mid sentence, they interrupted the relentless stream of fear thoughts repeatedly, until I learned to do that myself. We scare ourselves with our own thinking. And the thinking then creates the feelings. Not to say the situation isn't filled with sorrow, but our continual thoughts of what we could have done, what might happen, what should have happened, doesn't change anything. You aren't complaining FS, you are addressing your feelings and your thoughts. Putting them down like you are helps to see what those thoughts are. Observe those thoughts and practice not allowing them to take over. Recognize that you have the power to change your responses. You have the power to stay in the present moment, where nothing negative has happened, and breathe deeply and let go of that thinking, just for this moment.......and then the next moment...........and the next. Until in between all the sorrow and despair, you've created moments of peace. We need those moments of peace to carry on with the heavy burdens that have been placed on our shoulders. Hang in there FS. It's a lot to wade through, but you're doing it. [/QUOTE]
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