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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 668353" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Your child does love you, Feels Sad.</p><p></p><p>The kinder therapist is correct. The severe therapist is not a bad therapist. I hear that he or she is outraged for your sake. The severe therapist is not understanding mother love.</p><p></p><p>He or she is protecting you.</p><p></p><p>When I have had a therapist like that, I stopped listening. It wasn't even a choice. My concern was for my child.</p><p></p><p>That has never changed.</p><p></p><p>You will be able to hear the kinder therapist. If you are like me, you will not hear the severe therapist, and eventually, will not share what most disturbs you with him or her.</p><p></p><p>You will protect your child, even from your own therapist.</p><p></p><p>I did.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Could you be confronting your guilt? Confronting those negative tapes whirling away somewhere about how you should have been able to do something better?</p><p></p><p>I found there were shockingly negative tapes in my own subconscious. Every failure with my kids blasted right through defenses carefully erected over years and years. That is what broke me. Guilt. But what I learned is that guilt is a useless thing. </p><p></p><p>For me, it would be helpful to listen for the internal conversation, to try to catch a phrase, even, that occurs around everything to do with reviewing violent case histories. If you could write even one of them down, if you could isolate the feeling tone of the phrase or the memory, you could address whether it is helpful to you in the present, or not.</p><p></p><p>When I have done this, the result has always been a kind of horrified compassion for myself.</p><p></p><p>We can be so unkind to ourselves when our kids are suffering. </p><p></p><p>If it helped any of us, that would be one thing. But what I have found more helpful to me in facing what is has been compassion.</p><p></p><p>For me, for my kids, for the way everything turned out.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Could this be how your son protects you from himself?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 668353, member: 17461"] Your child does love you, Feels Sad. The kinder therapist is correct. The severe therapist is not a bad therapist. I hear that he or she is outraged for your sake. The severe therapist is not understanding mother love. He or she is protecting you. When I have had a therapist like that, I stopped listening. It wasn't even a choice. My concern was for my child. That has never changed. You will be able to hear the kinder therapist. If you are like me, you will not hear the severe therapist, and eventually, will not share what most disturbs you with him or her. You will protect your child, even from your own therapist. I did. Could you be confronting your guilt? Confronting those negative tapes whirling away somewhere about how you should have been able to do something better? I found there were shockingly negative tapes in my own subconscious. Every failure with my kids blasted right through defenses carefully erected over years and years. That is what broke me. Guilt. But what I learned is that guilt is a useless thing. For me, it would be helpful to listen for the internal conversation, to try to catch a phrase, even, that occurs around everything to do with reviewing violent case histories. If you could write even one of them down, if you could isolate the feeling tone of the phrase or the memory, you could address whether it is helpful to you in the present, or not. When I have done this, the result has always been a kind of horrified compassion for myself. We can be so unkind to ourselves when our kids are suffering. If it helped any of us, that would be one thing. But what I have found more helpful to me in facing what is has been compassion. For me, for my kids, for the way everything turned out. Could this be how your son protects you from himself? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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