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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 671554" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Copa, your quilting idea is marvelous, social, fun, creative, and a way to earn money. People quilt and make purses, totes, vests, baby blankets, pillows, small 'Tooth Fairy' pillows, wall hangings, and stuffed animals. Quilts make wonderful gifts! Great idea.</p><p></p><p>My middle son, the biology major, told me once, "Mom, you know that when you buy something you get a quick chemical rush. It doesn't last long...and then it is gone forever. Is it worth it to have that very brief experience to have the house filled with things that you do not need?" He told me, that because of me, he does not like objects. He does not want extra things in his life. </p><p></p><p>I have things in my grandmother's hope chest that go way back. Medals from the Civil War and dacguarotypes. There is a county in Kansas named for my great great uncle, but that is another story. My middle son said to give it all to my youngest son. He does not want the burden or guilt of having to hang onto it 'forever'.</p><p></p><p>I buy things because I am trying to fill a void. It is very short-lived. I do not spend a lot and I get very good deals. I am great at rationalizing, right?</p><p></p><p>What I have done a few times is when there is a disaster...I pack up about 30 new tops with the tags still on them and ship them off. I have done it several times. It is far more cathartic than just giving small cash donations and it makes me smile to imagine women and teenage girls wearing my nice tops.</p><p></p><p>I don't, I feel, buy too many extra things. I told someone once that I was a pack rat, not a hoarder. They asked, "What's the difference?"</p><p></p><p>I buy tops when they are good quality and inexpensive. I buy sterling rings with genuine gemstones for $10 for friends, instructional aides, office staff, principal, room parents, etc. Yes, I keep some, but I spread joy to others. I always have a quick hostess gift on hand or if someone gives me a gift.</p><p></p><p>I still buy too much, but I have cut down a lot. Facing death, losing my memory, or paralysis with my craniotomy helped me to spend less. People are important...not objects. That void cannot be filled with objects...A void due to loneliness, fear, anger, stress, anxiety...objects cannot fill those empty spots. That quick chemical rush cannot perk me up or numb my extreme emotional pain.</p><p></p><p>If I buy for others, it feels good much, much longer. If I buy things that I will display and enjoy everyday, it is okay. I love antiques because of the history attached to each item. I see it everyday and it brings a smile to my face. They 'speak' to me. They are one of a kind and are true works of art. I used to sell them so I get great deals. I had to pack them away. I am still bringing some out because they were put away because my ill son used to smash pieces. </p><p></p><p>Overall, I have cut down on my shopping. Perhaps, I have reached a new level of despair. But, if I buy so much that I am tripping over boxes or forgetting what I have purchased, it is starting to cross the 'retail' line.</p><p></p><p>A quick side note. My mother and I used to love to shop. I got pregnant and married right out of college. I was not used to being home and my mother and I would feel guilty if we kept bringing new things home. I thought of a clever...okay...devious plan. </p><p></p><p>We would come home to our husband's and say, "Look at this! My mother (daughter) bought this for me. I just couldn't say 'no'."</p><p></p><p>We bought whatever we wanted. I did not want to 'lie' so we found something we each liked and bought it for each other. Guiltless shopping.</p><p></p><p>Copa, most towns do bizarres around the holidays to sell crafts. People make quilts to commemorate births, families, weddings, and retirements. Also, paints can be applied or photos.</p><p></p><p>Leafy...you are not an antique, just a collectable or vintage. But, you are still just as valuable!!! An antique must be at least 100 years old.</p><p></p><p>Yes, thank you, Cedar. I do feel a bit better. I will try to think of the positives. Leafy, I will say those positive statements each day.</p><p></p><p>I will be thankful that I will know what town he is in and if he is alive by the debit purchases. I know that he can, perhaps, receive help because he is not being cloistered in his room and my youngest son is safe.</p><p></p><p>Goodnight, Leafy, InsaneCdn, and Copa....pleasant dreams, Cedar. InsaneCdn I do not know your time zone. Well, Bon Nuit should cover it, or rather roar.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 671554, member: 19245"] Copa, your quilting idea is marvelous, social, fun, creative, and a way to earn money. People quilt and make purses, totes, vests, baby blankets, pillows, small 'Tooth Fairy' pillows, wall hangings, and stuffed animals. Quilts make wonderful gifts! Great idea. My middle son, the biology major, told me once, "Mom, you know that when you buy something you get a quick chemical rush. It doesn't last long...and then it is gone forever. Is it worth it to have that very brief experience to have the house filled with things that you do not need?" He told me, that because of me, he does not like objects. He does not want extra things in his life. I have things in my grandmother's hope chest that go way back. Medals from the Civil War and dacguarotypes. There is a county in Kansas named for my great great uncle, but that is another story. My middle son said to give it all to my youngest son. He does not want the burden or guilt of having to hang onto it 'forever'. I buy things because I am trying to fill a void. It is very short-lived. I do not spend a lot and I get very good deals. I am great at rationalizing, right? What I have done a few times is when there is a disaster...I pack up about 30 new tops with the tags still on them and ship them off. I have done it several times. It is far more cathartic than just giving small cash donations and it makes me smile to imagine women and teenage girls wearing my nice tops. I don't, I feel, buy too many extra things. I told someone once that I was a pack rat, not a hoarder. They asked, "What's the difference?" I buy tops when they are good quality and inexpensive. I buy sterling rings with genuine gemstones for $10 for friends, instructional aides, office staff, principal, room parents, etc. Yes, I keep some, but I spread joy to others. I always have a quick hostess gift on hand or if someone gives me a gift. I still buy too much, but I have cut down a lot. Facing death, losing my memory, or paralysis with my craniotomy helped me to spend less. People are important...not objects. That void cannot be filled with objects...A void due to loneliness, fear, anger, stress, anxiety...objects cannot fill those empty spots. That quick chemical rush cannot perk me up or numb my extreme emotional pain. If I buy for others, it feels good much, much longer. If I buy things that I will display and enjoy everyday, it is okay. I love antiques because of the history attached to each item. I see it everyday and it brings a smile to my face. They 'speak' to me. They are one of a kind and are true works of art. I used to sell them so I get great deals. I had to pack them away. I am still bringing some out because they were put away because my ill son used to smash pieces. Overall, I have cut down on my shopping. Perhaps, I have reached a new level of despair. But, if I buy so much that I am tripping over boxes or forgetting what I have purchased, it is starting to cross the 'retail' line. A quick side note. My mother and I used to love to shop. I got pregnant and married right out of college. I was not used to being home and my mother and I would feel guilty if we kept bringing new things home. I thought of a clever...okay...devious plan. We would come home to our husband's and say, "Look at this! My mother (daughter) bought this for me. I just couldn't say 'no'." We bought whatever we wanted. I did not want to 'lie' so we found something we each liked and bought it for each other. Guiltless shopping. Copa, most towns do bizarres around the holidays to sell crafts. People make quilts to commemorate births, families, weddings, and retirements. Also, paints can be applied or photos. Leafy...you are not an antique, just a collectable or vintage. But, you are still just as valuable!!! An antique must be at least 100 years old. Yes, thank you, Cedar. I do feel a bit better. I will try to think of the positives. Leafy, I will say those positive statements each day. I will be thankful that I will know what town he is in and if he is alive by the debit purchases. I know that he can, perhaps, receive help because he is not being cloistered in his room and my youngest son is safe. Goodnight, Leafy, InsaneCdn, and Copa....pleasant dreams, Cedar. InsaneCdn I do not know your time zone. Well, Bon Nuit should cover it, or rather roar. [/QUOTE]
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