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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 693666" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Child, thank you for understanding my shopping. Yes, I too like to go to antique stores. I used to sell antiques. My whole house is full of antiques. Outside of clothing, I do not purchase something unless it is at least 100 years old...a true antique. It hasn't slowed me down in the least. I told this to my class once and a student suggested, "Maybe you should only buy things that are 200 years old".</p><p></p><p>The thrill of the hunt gives me a purpose and it focuses my brain. I am busy focusing on my pursuit...and not my blaring issues or grief at hand.</p><p></p><p>I am at an impasse. I love to shop, but I am getting annoyed by so many possessions. I find it even more bothersome after sorting through others' belongings. It is so difficult to let go of their things...it is my childhood and happier times that I am letting go of when I donate their things. Bit by bit, my happier times during my childhood is disappating.</p><p></p><p>I also do not want my sons have to sort through mountains of my things. I do not want them to have to go through what I have gone through. My father did not have many collected things being a top security aeronautical engineer. But my mother...my mother was a pack rat like me.</p><p></p><p>I put a burial plot on hold next to my brother's at the cemetery when I purchased his. I have to decide this week if I want to keep it. I am twice divorced and I can trade for a plot next to a future significant other at the same cemetery in the future, if the need arises. I want to be near family.</p><p></p><p>This plot is the closest to my mother and the least expensive. It is comforting, at yet, very depressing to know EXACTLY where I am going to be placed for eternity...</p><p></p><p>Thinking about my own eventual death puts all of my issues in a different realm or level. It is all truly very depressing.</p><p></p><p>I do not want my sons to have to sort through all of my many things. </p><p></p><p>Watching my brother's difficult passing has brought back my 'near death experience' I experienced with my son. I have been told over and over that in the psychotic grips of schizophrenia, he could have easily followed his command hallucinations and killed me. My schizophrenic sister from the time I was 11 threatened to kill me. My first exhusband, who was a Vietnam vet, often threatened to kill me and physically abused me.</p><p></p><p>Death has been at my doorstep, so to speak, for 50 years. But, purchasing a plot takes it to a whole new level...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 693666, member: 19245"] Child, thank you for understanding my shopping. Yes, I too like to go to antique stores. I used to sell antiques. My whole house is full of antiques. Outside of clothing, I do not purchase something unless it is at least 100 years old...a true antique. It hasn't slowed me down in the least. I told this to my class once and a student suggested, "Maybe you should only buy things that are 200 years old". The thrill of the hunt gives me a purpose and it focuses my brain. I am busy focusing on my pursuit...and not my blaring issues or grief at hand. I am at an impasse. I love to shop, but I am getting annoyed by so many possessions. I find it even more bothersome after sorting through others' belongings. It is so difficult to let go of their things...it is my childhood and happier times that I am letting go of when I donate their things. Bit by bit, my happier times during my childhood is disappating. I also do not want my sons have to sort through mountains of my things. I do not want them to have to go through what I have gone through. My father did not have many collected things being a top security aeronautical engineer. But my mother...my mother was a pack rat like me. I put a burial plot on hold next to my brother's at the cemetery when I purchased his. I have to decide this week if I want to keep it. I am twice divorced and I can trade for a plot next to a future significant other at the same cemetery in the future, if the need arises. I want to be near family. This plot is the closest to my mother and the least expensive. It is comforting, at yet, very depressing to know EXACTLY where I am going to be placed for eternity... Thinking about my own eventual death puts all of my issues in a different realm or level. It is all truly very depressing. I do not want my sons to have to sort through all of my many things. Watching my brother's difficult passing has brought back my 'near death experience' I experienced with my son. I have been told over and over that in the psychotic grips of schizophrenia, he could have easily followed his command hallucinations and killed me. My schizophrenic sister from the time I was 11 threatened to kill me. My first exhusband, who was a Vietnam vet, often threatened to kill me and physically abused me. Death has been at my doorstep, so to speak, for 50 years. But, purchasing a plot takes it to a whole new level... [/QUOTE]
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