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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 696712" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Hi. I am sorry that it has been so long. It has been over a year since I had to file a restraining order against my violent schizoprenic son. I still miss him terribly and feel that I will never see him again. He is still alive per the activity on the small joint bank account. That is my only thread to sanity...</p><p></p><p>I have been trying to deal with my second son's depression. He is going to college in Monterey. He has always felt things very deeply. When I told him that I had to file a restraining order against his older brother, his life took a serious nose dive. I did not want to tell him, but I knew that I should. He was very close to him before his illness and was always going to take care of him. He knows that I had no choice. He said, "Just because you feel sad doesn't mean that it was the wrong thing to do". </p><p></p><p>He talked of not wanting to live. He told me if something happened to his brother, that his blood would be on my hands. </p><p></p><p>His roommate that he rented a room from had to move out of the area. He brought everything down to my house because he "was between places". He told me that he was staying with a friend on the couch. I found out a few months later that he was living in his car. I posted earlier about trying to get him to see a doctor for medications or therapy. </p><p></p><p>He failed one of his classes living in his car. He has never struggled with school. He doesn't want to tell anyone at his internship. He is embarrassed. He is a genius...upper 2 percentile according to Gate tests. He says that he is going to quit his internship without telling them.</p><p></p><p>I thought that he was living in his car because it was difficult to find a room mid semester. I started to send him contacts for rooms from craigslist. I went up there to visit and help him to find a room. Big mistake. He got mad constantly. He screamed and blamed me for his problems. He didn't want me to come, but I did anyway. He said, "That is just what I need...my mommy finding me a room". He drove off and told me that he didn't want to live. He said, "Thank you for killing me".</p><p></p><p>I went back home after 3 days of tension and being yelled at. My counselor told me that it was a positive step for me to take. I feel like I failed...</p><p></p><p>He weighs 112 pounds. He doesn't want to deal with people or rent a room. He doesn't want to be "doped up" on medications. He says that he is going to die soon and he can't stop it. He says that homeless people are kind and very nice.</p><p></p><p>I have 2 sons who are homeless. </p><p></p><p>I have been having bad vertigo. It is probably stress related. I am seeing my neurologist to outrule my brain tumor coming back next week. I go back to school next week. I feel totally sad...empty...despondent. I do not want to be perky and positive with my new charges. But...I will, though. I always am.</p><p></p><p>My counselor told me that she doesn't know if he is going to kill himself or not, but that she does know that I can't do anything to stop it. I didn't need to hear that. Yes, it is true. But, I didn't want to hear it.</p><p></p><p>Feeling Doubly Sad...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 696712, member: 19245"] Hi. I am sorry that it has been so long. It has been over a year since I had to file a restraining order against my violent schizoprenic son. I still miss him terribly and feel that I will never see him again. He is still alive per the activity on the small joint bank account. That is my only thread to sanity... I have been trying to deal with my second son's depression. He is going to college in Monterey. He has always felt things very deeply. When I told him that I had to file a restraining order against his older brother, his life took a serious nose dive. I did not want to tell him, but I knew that I should. He was very close to him before his illness and was always going to take care of him. He knows that I had no choice. He said, "Just because you feel sad doesn't mean that it was the wrong thing to do". He talked of not wanting to live. He told me if something happened to his brother, that his blood would be on my hands. His roommate that he rented a room from had to move out of the area. He brought everything down to my house because he "was between places". He told me that he was staying with a friend on the couch. I found out a few months later that he was living in his car. I posted earlier about trying to get him to see a doctor for medications or therapy. He failed one of his classes living in his car. He has never struggled with school. He doesn't want to tell anyone at his internship. He is embarrassed. He is a genius...upper 2 percentile according to Gate tests. He says that he is going to quit his internship without telling them. I thought that he was living in his car because it was difficult to find a room mid semester. I started to send him contacts for rooms from craigslist. I went up there to visit and help him to find a room. Big mistake. He got mad constantly. He screamed and blamed me for his problems. He didn't want me to come, but I did anyway. He said, "That is just what I need...my mommy finding me a room". He drove off and told me that he didn't want to live. He said, "Thank you for killing me". I went back home after 3 days of tension and being yelled at. My counselor told me that it was a positive step for me to take. I feel like I failed... He weighs 112 pounds. He doesn't want to deal with people or rent a room. He doesn't want to be "doped up" on medications. He says that he is going to die soon and he can't stop it. He says that homeless people are kind and very nice. I have 2 sons who are homeless. I have been having bad vertigo. It is probably stress related. I am seeing my neurologist to outrule my brain tumor coming back next week. I go back to school next week. I feel totally sad...empty...despondent. I do not want to be perky and positive with my new charges. But...I will, though. I always am. My counselor told me that she doesn't know if he is going to kill himself or not, but that she does know that I can't do anything to stop it. I didn't need to hear that. Yes, it is true. But, I didn't want to hear it. Feeling Doubly Sad... [/QUOTE]
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