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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 696758" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I forgot to mention my youngest son. I stay strong and keep going for him.</p><p></p><p>A little over a year ago, he was chosen to let the police into the house to serve the restraining order to my schizophrenic son. He had held a jagged bottle to my throat and a few weeks later argued with his voices when he had a command hallucination that told him to kill me. My ill son lied to the police and was not deemed serious enough to be involuntarily committed. My youngest son had to watch as the police pulled my scared ill son out of his room to be interrogated and then escorted out of the tract. He still feels guilty over being the one who let the police in. He feels that his brother is mad at him.</p><p></p><p>A few months later, he was 1 of 10 people chosen across the U.S. to go to Google and critique a system in front of the inventors. While he was gone his girlfriend of 8 years cheated on him and broke up with him. He was going to propose. </p><p></p><p>When he was 20 he paid $4,000 to take a 5 day class. He was the youngest by far and the others' class was paid by the military or the government. Only 2 out of the 12 passed all 3 Cisco certifications and he was one of them. </p><p></p><p>He just graduated college with honors and landed a great local job in the software field.</p><p></p><p>I am strong for him.</p><p></p><p>My middle son has always seen things as they really are since a very young age. He feels everything deeply. I wrote earlier about when he was in the 2nd grade the teacher told the class to write their favorite word and draw a picture. He chose ominous, spelled it properly, and drew dark clouds. They tested him for GATE. But, I was worried that my little second grader chose 'ominous'. </p><p></p><p>My schizophrenic sister was kidnapped and missing when I was in college. She was taken by a pimp and forced to turn tricks in a seedy hotel in downtown L.A. Growing up, she threatened my life many times. I made it through school, but my heart was breaking.</p><p></p><p>I hate mental illness. It steals people away from us. They become someone completely different and view us, their family, as the enemy. I ache every day. I worry every day. I am not able to cry because of disassociation due to ptsd, but my throat feels as if I am going to cry all of the time. I wish that I could cry. I wish that I could help my sons. I have been able to help hundreds of children as a sp. ed. teacher through the years, but not my own sons. I HATE mental illness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 696758, member: 19245"] I forgot to mention my youngest son. I stay strong and keep going for him. A little over a year ago, he was chosen to let the police into the house to serve the restraining order to my schizophrenic son. He had held a jagged bottle to my throat and a few weeks later argued with his voices when he had a command hallucination that told him to kill me. My ill son lied to the police and was not deemed serious enough to be involuntarily committed. My youngest son had to watch as the police pulled my scared ill son out of his room to be interrogated and then escorted out of the tract. He still feels guilty over being the one who let the police in. He feels that his brother is mad at him. A few months later, he was 1 of 10 people chosen across the U.S. to go to Google and critique a system in front of the inventors. While he was gone his girlfriend of 8 years cheated on him and broke up with him. He was going to propose. When he was 20 he paid $4,000 to take a 5 day class. He was the youngest by far and the others' class was paid by the military or the government. Only 2 out of the 12 passed all 3 Cisco certifications and he was one of them. He just graduated college with honors and landed a great local job in the software field. I am strong for him. My middle son has always seen things as they really are since a very young age. He feels everything deeply. I wrote earlier about when he was in the 2nd grade the teacher told the class to write their favorite word and draw a picture. He chose ominous, spelled it properly, and drew dark clouds. They tested him for GATE. But, I was worried that my little second grader chose 'ominous'. My schizophrenic sister was kidnapped and missing when I was in college. She was taken by a pimp and forced to turn tricks in a seedy hotel in downtown L.A. Growing up, she threatened my life many times. I made it through school, but my heart was breaking. I hate mental illness. It steals people away from us. They become someone completely different and view us, their family, as the enemy. I ache every day. I worry every day. I am not able to cry because of disassociation due to ptsd, but my throat feels as if I am going to cry all of the time. I wish that I could cry. I wish that I could help my sons. I have been able to help hundreds of children as a sp. ed. teacher through the years, but not my own sons. I HATE mental illness. [/QUOTE]
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