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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 696761" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Feeling Sad, I am catching up with your recent posts. I'm so sorry that you have two sons who are not doing well. I'm so glad that you have one son who is doing well. Please keep on living for him. It seems like we put the ones who are doing well to the side, when we are dealing with those who aren't. </p><p></p><p>And you are right. There is nothing you can do. I so wish there WAS something you could do, and we could all collaborate on next steps.</p><p></p><p>I'm so thankful that you have your job to go to...where you know you are needed, and you DO make a difference. Cling to that. Focus on that. Focus on small things and large things that give you pleasure. Things that make you happy and peaceful, like a walk, sitting with a good book, lunch with a friend. </p><p></p><p>I think we overlook the simple pleasures that we all need everyday in our lives to develop perspective, to find moments of calm and peace, in our quest to find answers and find solutions to the intractable problems of loving people who are seriously mentally ill. </p><p></p><p>I don't think anything will completely assuage your grief and your pain. But I do think you can move forward in your life with a lot of work and time. Please contact NAMI, Al-Anon, read books, continue writing here and in a journal, create a gratitude list every morning---take five minutes, do the work and you will get better. Even with your two precious sons in the grip of this horrible monster of mental illness...you can get better...as they go about their lives, whatever that looks like for them.</p><p></p><p>This is another opportunity to separate yourself---not in a bad way or a punitive way or a shut-them-out way---but in a way that acknowledges that we are all separate individuals. We all have our separate paths to walk. We can't walk another person's path for them, as much as we want to so badly. </p><p></p><p>We can only do what we can do...and in some cases, there are just no actions to take...and living with that in and of itself is very very hard...sometimes there are only words of love and support and encouragement...and then stepping back once again to focus on our own lives. Sometimes there are only fervent prayers. Fervent wishes and good thoughts for something good to come into their lives. Some Power greater than ourselves that will walk with our precious sons through the muck and the mire, and we can release them to the Universe. We can let go. As fundamentally hard as this is. It's the hardest thing in the whole world to do.</p><p></p><p>No matter what---we are here for you, to listen and respond, to support and encourage, to bounce ideas off of...always with you holding the power to determine what you will and won't do in your own life. </p><p></p><p>Please know we are, and please know we understand in a way few others can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 696761, member: 17542"] Feeling Sad, I am catching up with your recent posts. I'm so sorry that you have two sons who are not doing well. I'm so glad that you have one son who is doing well. Please keep on living for him. It seems like we put the ones who are doing well to the side, when we are dealing with those who aren't. And you are right. There is nothing you can do. I so wish there WAS something you could do, and we could all collaborate on next steps. I'm so thankful that you have your job to go to...where you know you are needed, and you DO make a difference. Cling to that. Focus on that. Focus on small things and large things that give you pleasure. Things that make you happy and peaceful, like a walk, sitting with a good book, lunch with a friend. I think we overlook the simple pleasures that we all need everyday in our lives to develop perspective, to find moments of calm and peace, in our quest to find answers and find solutions to the intractable problems of loving people who are seriously mentally ill. I don't think anything will completely assuage your grief and your pain. But I do think you can move forward in your life with a lot of work and time. Please contact NAMI, Al-Anon, read books, continue writing here and in a journal, create a gratitude list every morning---take five minutes, do the work and you will get better. Even with your two precious sons in the grip of this horrible monster of mental illness...you can get better...as they go about their lives, whatever that looks like for them. This is another opportunity to separate yourself---not in a bad way or a punitive way or a shut-them-out way---but in a way that acknowledges that we are all separate individuals. We all have our separate paths to walk. We can't walk another person's path for them, as much as we want to so badly. We can only do what we can do...and in some cases, there are just no actions to take...and living with that in and of itself is very very hard...sometimes there are only words of love and support and encouragement...and then stepping back once again to focus on our own lives. Sometimes there are only fervent prayers. Fervent wishes and good thoughts for something good to come into their lives. Some Power greater than ourselves that will walk with our precious sons through the muck and the mire, and we can release them to the Universe. We can let go. As fundamentally hard as this is. It's the hardest thing in the whole world to do. No matter what---we are here for you, to listen and respond, to support and encourage, to bounce ideas off of...always with you holding the power to determine what you will and won't do in your own life. Please know we are, and please know we understand in a way few others can. [/QUOTE]
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