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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 696770" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>My dearest Feeling, how glad I am that you have checked in, glad to know you are okay, but so sorry for your vexation and sadness. I have missed you.</p><p>Having two adult children suffering and homeless is so very difficult. How we wish for the best for them. We are in a similar situation my dear friend. Different in so many ways, yet the same in the toll it can take upon our weary hearts. Substance abuse and homelessness. Certainly addiction takes a mind to a degree of questionable mental health and decision making. My two are out there. Tornado with three children and an abusive S O. Rain, seemingly content with living in a park. One would think that their lifestyles would change after the passing of their father, but, unfortunately I have yet to see a difference. All of this, <em>I have absolutely no control over. </em>It is hard, and it is sad, but, it is the reality of it. How I do love them so. I spent many a time feeling depressed and desolate, not knowing which way to turn, which is why I came here to CD. The hours spent here have helped me to lift my head above the raging torrent of emotions, swim against the strong currents.</p><p>YOU have helped me little Bird.</p><p>Helped me to let go and let God. I hope that you are able to do the same. Am I heartless and cold? I ask myself that. The answer I have found is that my wasting away and floundering does absolutely nothing to help or change my twos situation. Nothing. After hubs passed, it became even clearer to me that life is so very short. His life and sacrifice for his children, his death, did nothing to change the choices they made and make. It is because they will do what they want to do. Whether it be substance abuse driven, or mental illness due to that, they will do what they want to do.They are adults.</p><p>When I find myself slipping into the darkness of it, I say a prayer. Instead of looking at my two and mourning their lifestyles and circumstance, I am thankful to have had the blessings of giving birth, holding them to my breast, loving and rejoicing in their milestones. I am thinking of the wonderful things we were able to do together. </p><p>This was a precious gift. </p><p>But, they were only on loan to me for a time to hold, and raise. As they struggled through their teen years it was pretty evident that they would do what they wanted to do. Even then. And so it is.</p><p> I am so glad that you have your young son to be strong for. He is doing so well. I have the same with my boy. I have to be strong for him. But, I have to be strong for me, too. It is because I have purpose and meaning in my life. We ALL do. </p><p></p><p> I feel the same of addiction, little bird. It is horrible. I am so sorry dear friend.</p><p></p><p> I understand. It hits even harder when working with others children, and seeing success. But, this is a tribute to your compassion and strength dear one, and your ability to make a difference in others lives, even though you have walked such a difficult path. You are a warrior.</p><p></p><p> It is the hardest thing to do. For if we could, we would lay our own lives down, that our beloveds would have peace. This is not something that can be ransomed. Our sacrifice would be in vain. It would not change what is. So, we are left with the task to soldier on and do the best we can with our lives.</p><p>Live.</p><p>Standing on the mountain battle worn yet determined to live.</p><p>How would it help my two, if I shed a thousand times a thousand tears? If I synchronistically lost my purpose and chance to live a good rest of my life alongside of them, would it help them? </p><p>No, it wouldn't.</p><p> With this reality, I am determined to live as best I can. I hope the same for you. For I do believe it is a testimony to our beloveds that by our living well, they can, too.</p><p>In my grief for hubs passing, I scoured obituaries. Noted those who lived into their 80's and 90's and grieved it would not be so for my husband. Then, I began to see that there were many who passed before his age, and also those who had lost their lives as young children, infants. I began to see that I was blessed with the years that I did have my mate by my side. I was blessed with raising my children until they reached their adult years. I am blessed to have what I do have, for so many people have suffered unimaginable fates.</p><p>We have life, Feeling. It can either be viewed as blessing or a curse, but <em>we have life. </em></p><p>You have lived a most difficult life, been through so many, many hard things and come through.</p><p>You are kind and smart, talented and gifted. You have purpose and you matter very, very much.</p><p>I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping with all of my heart for strength, respite and peace. </p><p>For you. </p><p>For all of us.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 696770, member: 19522"] My dearest Feeling, how glad I am that you have checked in, glad to know you are okay, but so sorry for your vexation and sadness. I have missed you. Having two adult children suffering and homeless is so very difficult. How we wish for the best for them. We are in a similar situation my dear friend. Different in so many ways, yet the same in the toll it can take upon our weary hearts. Substance abuse and homelessness. Certainly addiction takes a mind to a degree of questionable mental health and decision making. My two are out there. Tornado with three children and an abusive S O. Rain, seemingly content with living in a park. One would think that their lifestyles would change after the passing of their father, but, unfortunately I have yet to see a difference. All of this, [I]I have absolutely no control over. [/I]It is hard, and it is sad, but, it is the reality of it. How I do love them so. I spent many a time feeling depressed and desolate, not knowing which way to turn, which is why I came here to CD. The hours spent here have helped me to lift my head above the raging torrent of emotions, swim against the strong currents. YOU have helped me little Bird. Helped me to let go and let God. I hope that you are able to do the same. Am I heartless and cold? I ask myself that. The answer I have found is that my wasting away and floundering does absolutely nothing to help or change my twos situation. Nothing. After hubs passed, it became even clearer to me that life is so very short. His life and sacrifice for his children, his death, did nothing to change the choices they made and make. It is because they will do what they want to do. Whether it be substance abuse driven, or mental illness due to that, they will do what they want to do.They are adults. When I find myself slipping into the darkness of it, I say a prayer. Instead of looking at my two and mourning their lifestyles and circumstance, I am thankful to have had the blessings of giving birth, holding them to my breast, loving and rejoicing in their milestones. I am thinking of the wonderful things we were able to do together. This was a precious gift. But, they were only on loan to me for a time to hold, and raise. As they struggled through their teen years it was pretty evident that they would do what they wanted to do. Even then. And so it is. I am so glad that you have your young son to be strong for. He is doing so well. I have the same with my boy. I have to be strong for him. But, I have to be strong for me, too. It is because I have purpose and meaning in my life. We ALL do. I feel the same of addiction, little bird. It is horrible. I am so sorry dear friend. I understand. It hits even harder when working with others children, and seeing success. But, this is a tribute to your compassion and strength dear one, and your ability to make a difference in others lives, even though you have walked such a difficult path. You are a warrior. It is the hardest thing to do. For if we could, we would lay our own lives down, that our beloveds would have peace. This is not something that can be ransomed. Our sacrifice would be in vain. It would not change what is. So, we are left with the task to soldier on and do the best we can with our lives. Live. Standing on the mountain battle worn yet determined to live. How would it help my two, if I shed a thousand times a thousand tears? If I synchronistically lost my purpose and chance to live a good rest of my life alongside of them, would it help them? No, it wouldn't. With this reality, I am determined to live as best I can. I hope the same for you. For I do believe it is a testimony to our beloveds that by our living well, they can, too. In my grief for hubs passing, I scoured obituaries. Noted those who lived into their 80's and 90's and grieved it would not be so for my husband. Then, I began to see that there were many who passed before his age, and also those who had lost their lives as young children, infants. I began to see that I was blessed with the years that I did have my mate by my side. I was blessed with raising my children until they reached their adult years. I am blessed to have what I do have, for so many people have suffered unimaginable fates. We have life, Feeling. It can either be viewed as blessing or a curse, but [I]we have life. [/I] You have lived a most difficult life, been through so many, many hard things and come through. You are kind and smart, talented and gifted. You have purpose and you matter very, very much. I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping with all of my heart for strength, respite and peace. For you. For all of us. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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