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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 703500" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>A past principal of mine asked me why I went into sp. ed. I told her that I had a schizophrenic sister. She told not to ever mention that again to the district or anyone.</p><p></p><p>I believe that people fear that, you to, would become psychotic.</p><p></p><p>We practice for lockdown/shooter drills. In fact, the last in service was run by the same 'crisis trained' officer that came to my house 6 days later and found that a 5150, involuntary commitment, was not warranted. I just sat there and didn't believe a word they said. "Contact us if any student starts to act strange...out of the ordinary"... Right...</p><p></p><p>I have 3 friends at school, all sp. ed. paraeducators. One has a schizophrenic sister, one has a schizophrenic cousin, and one has a schizophrenic father in law.</p><p></p><p>The school could easily trump up something about me and let me go. If I told them that my son was delusional and I had to file a restraining order because he might kill me, it would not be taken lightly.</p><p></p><p>No, once I retire. In our culture there is so much stigma. I can give my name after I retire. My district is very conservative. Yes, they can make up something to let you go. The union is useless.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I wanted to try and work through my trauma by safely 'reliving' it, which is the essence of somatic therapy. But, my therapist said that I get too anxious. That is the point, isn't it? To be able to revisit in small safe increments until my body does not react that way anymore. I feel that I need to do this because self-soothing with deep breathing, as I am crawling out of my skin in fear, is not working. When I think I hear someone in the house and my heart starts pounding, turning on sixties music would not be helpful. I need to get to the root of the problem.</p><p></p><p>I used to take ativan once a month to help to relax so I did not have my simple partial seizures from my craniotomy, transitory loss of feeling on my right side, due to fear and stress. Both benadryl and ativan were on the list of medications that can cause dementia in the study. I am screwed. I have been taking one or the other for years...</p><p></p><p>I should feel more peaceful knowing that a form of 'life' continues after death. I have been highly psychic since junior high. I read a study that postulated that when someone needs to be hypervilIgant to stay alive, i.e.the threats of death from my schizophrenic sister, one can become psychic. The theory goes that I needed to be alert to any nuisance or perception. Whatever the reason, I have precognition, and it scares me. I do not like having it. I hoped that it would go away after I had my tumor removed, but it didn't.</p><p></p><p>But, I thus believe in things out of the realm of science or popular culture. Not all things can be explained or proven. But, then now being alone, I am literally afraid of things that 'go bump in the night'.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 703500, member: 19245"] A past principal of mine asked me why I went into sp. ed. I told her that I had a schizophrenic sister. She told not to ever mention that again to the district or anyone. I believe that people fear that, you to, would become psychotic. We practice for lockdown/shooter drills. In fact, the last in service was run by the same 'crisis trained' officer that came to my house 6 days later and found that a 5150, involuntary commitment, was not warranted. I just sat there and didn't believe a word they said. "Contact us if any student starts to act strange...out of the ordinary"... Right... I have 3 friends at school, all sp. ed. paraeducators. One has a schizophrenic sister, one has a schizophrenic cousin, and one has a schizophrenic father in law. The school could easily trump up something about me and let me go. If I told them that my son was delusional and I had to file a restraining order because he might kill me, it would not be taken lightly. No, once I retire. In our culture there is so much stigma. I can give my name after I retire. My district is very conservative. Yes, they can make up something to let you go. The union is useless. Copa, I wanted to try and work through my trauma by safely 'reliving' it, which is the essence of somatic therapy. But, my therapist said that I get too anxious. That is the point, isn't it? To be able to revisit in small safe increments until my body does not react that way anymore. I feel that I need to do this because self-soothing with deep breathing, as I am crawling out of my skin in fear, is not working. When I think I hear someone in the house and my heart starts pounding, turning on sixties music would not be helpful. I need to get to the root of the problem. I used to take ativan once a month to help to relax so I did not have my simple partial seizures from my craniotomy, transitory loss of feeling on my right side, due to fear and stress. Both benadryl and ativan were on the list of medications that can cause dementia in the study. I am screwed. I have been taking one or the other for years... I should feel more peaceful knowing that a form of 'life' continues after death. I have been highly psychic since junior high. I read a study that postulated that when someone needs to be hypervilIgant to stay alive, i.e.the threats of death from my schizophrenic sister, one can become psychic. The theory goes that I needed to be alert to any nuisance or perception. Whatever the reason, I have precognition, and it scares me. I do not like having it. I hoped that it would go away after I had my tumor removed, but it didn't. But, I thus believe in things out of the realm of science or popular culture. Not all things can be explained or proven. But, then now being alone, I am literally afraid of things that 'go bump in the night'. [/QUOTE]
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