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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 718457" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Copa, I am very sorry to hear that your son is homeless. No apologies needed. We are all hurting. None of my sons are able to be on my health insurance. They are all overage and no one has been diagnosed. </p><p></p><p>Sam3, yes there is a lot of new research about schizophrenia, mainly about dopamine. I bought tons of vitamins and herbs for my eldest. He never took one. Why would he? He didn't feel that he was ill. Perhaps he thought that I was trying to poison him.</p><p></p><p>Acacia, I carry on because I have to. I need to support myself. My teaching directs me and forces me to focus on others. It helps me greatly to continue to help others, when I was not able to help my own son. I am fortunate that my health allows me to work. There are always behaviors to address, deadlines, conferences, IEP's, etc. I want to crawl off someplace, but in actuality, it would make me worse. I would have too much time to perseverate.</p><p></p><p>They also have high hopes of early socialization in treating schizophrenia, which looks rewarding. With my eldest, I tried to get him into a research program at UCLA. Two main problems...they only took patients in the early stages of schizophrenia and, he has anosognosia and lacks insight into being ill.</p><p></p><p>I have 2 sisters and my eldest son with schizophrenia. There is a very strong genetic component. My middle son, a biologist, told me that I rolled the dice and 'lost' by my son having schizophrenia. He never wants children to pass the disease on. </p><p></p><p>He is petrified. He keeps saying that he does not feel well. He actually said today that he does not want to "go crazy" like his brother.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I am finally starting to realize that I lived in fear of being killed for many years. I tried my best. I recently read cases of matricide, again. It helps me to try to strip the situation of any guilt.</p><p></p><p>The mother usually was trying to get her son to receive help. Most mothers either did not receive help because doctors did not feel that there was a valid threat, they downplayed the violence so that their son would not be arrested, or they had no warnings. I was very fortunate that I had warnings. I numbed out his many death threats with my PTSD. It was a very dangerous situation for my youngest son and myself. I am forcing myself to see it as it really was and I am trying, still, to forgive myself. I truly tried my best. </p><p></p><p>My eldest was very childlike. I feel like I have pushed a child out into homelessness, but he also was a tall man that had the ability to hurt or kill us. I ache for him every day. </p><p></p><p>I had a psychologist tell me that he could have killed me without realizing what he was doing. I asked him, in earnest, if I did the right thing. He responded, "Are you kidding?".</p><p></p><p>I pray that my middle son just has depression and not schizophrenia.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 718457, member: 19245"] Copa, I am very sorry to hear that your son is homeless. No apologies needed. We are all hurting. None of my sons are able to be on my health insurance. They are all overage and no one has been diagnosed. Sam3, yes there is a lot of new research about schizophrenia, mainly about dopamine. I bought tons of vitamins and herbs for my eldest. He never took one. Why would he? He didn't feel that he was ill. Perhaps he thought that I was trying to poison him. Acacia, I carry on because I have to. I need to support myself. My teaching directs me and forces me to focus on others. It helps me greatly to continue to help others, when I was not able to help my own son. I am fortunate that my health allows me to work. There are always behaviors to address, deadlines, conferences, IEP's, etc. I want to crawl off someplace, but in actuality, it would make me worse. I would have too much time to perseverate. They also have high hopes of early socialization in treating schizophrenia, which looks rewarding. With my eldest, I tried to get him into a research program at UCLA. Two main problems...they only took patients in the early stages of schizophrenia and, he has anosognosia and lacks insight into being ill. I have 2 sisters and my eldest son with schizophrenia. There is a very strong genetic component. My middle son, a biologist, told me that I rolled the dice and 'lost' by my son having schizophrenia. He never wants children to pass the disease on. He is petrified. He keeps saying that he does not feel well. He actually said today that he does not want to "go crazy" like his brother. Copa, I am finally starting to realize that I lived in fear of being killed for many years. I tried my best. I recently read cases of matricide, again. It helps me to try to strip the situation of any guilt. The mother usually was trying to get her son to receive help. Most mothers either did not receive help because doctors did not feel that there was a valid threat, they downplayed the violence so that their son would not be arrested, or they had no warnings. I was very fortunate that I had warnings. I numbed out his many death threats with my PTSD. It was a very dangerous situation for my youngest son and myself. I am forcing myself to see it as it really was and I am trying, still, to forgive myself. I truly tried my best. My eldest was very childlike. I feel like I have pushed a child out into homelessness, but he also was a tall man that had the ability to hurt or kill us. I ache for him every day. I had a psychologist tell me that he could have killed me without realizing what he was doing. I asked him, in earnest, if I did the right thing. He responded, "Are you kidding?". I pray that my middle son just has depression and not schizophrenia. [/QUOTE]
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